JimK
Diamond
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2003
- Location
- Berkeley Springs, WV, USA
After I got out of my apprenticeship I made myself generally useless and a PITA in the D.C. area buying, repairing and selling machine tools and printing machinery.
Naturally I knew a lot of new machine sales reps. They thought I was weird, but it wasn't below their dignity to bug me about the technical intricasies of their competitor's machines.
One in house sales rep. went out on his own and took on the Misal Italian make line of lathes and mills. He managed to have a nice Misal lathe in stock. He had me over to pass a blessing on it. It was actually quite a nice lathe.
One day he came by my shop all red in the face. He had been disqualified from a Navy bid to supply lathes that would go on U.S. aircraft carriers.
The bid didn't go, as I had expected, to Monarch or Lodge and Shipley but was awarded to the imported Standard Modern. The S-M was sold in the area by an arch rival.
He asked me if I would accompany him as an expert witness to the office of Maryland's senator, Mac Mathias.
ummm - ok, I said. I really didn't think that real live Senators would bite.
So, at the appointed time I arrived at The Capitol Building and was ushered into the senator's conference room. My man was waiting.
Already seated also were five dignified gentlemen. Shortly, The Honorable Senator from Maryland made his entrance.
The introductions revealed that present there was one senior official from Federal Purhasing, two civilian Industrial Specilaists from the Navy Department and a Representative from Standard Modern Corp, doubtless in town from the Land of the Maple Leaf.
Right away, things didn't look good. Don Quixote was seated to The Senator's left and The Forces of The Evil Empire were seated to his right.
I felt safe sitting to The Don's left where I was only being stared down by mere tech guys.
I can hold my own with their likes any day.
The meeting got under way with The Don going through his repetoir of somebody done somebody wrong songs. His was the low bid and he had been unfairly skunked.
eeech, I wished I had stayed home and taken a nap.
The office was air conditioned and quiet, so it was fairly easy to keep still while wearing a suit and tie.
After my man stopped moaning, the senior official who wouldn't know a tailstock from his left foot assured His Honor that the entire bid process was carried out to the letter of the laws partaining to the administration of Federal Contracts.
That was bullshit, he was just saying that all the "i's" were dotted and the "t's" crossed and all the boxes were checked.
His Honor asked me if, indeed, the Misal Lathe was a 16 X 54 gear driven machine like the spec. called out, I assured him that it was, barring any peculiarity in the Navy spec.
I knew the spec. was full of land mines, but my man never shared any of the contract infrmation with me fearing that I would gain too much of his pricing information.
Hizzhonor's question aroused me from a typical Capitol Slumber (do you think those Senators and Representatives are actually awake when Congress is in session? The U.S. Capitol Building is the best napping spot in the world).
I said to myself "Now, which windmill is going to knock this fool off his horse"?
Mr. Standard Modern started in extolling the quality and strengths of his wonderful lathe. Assuring His Honor that it, in every way, met or exceeded the Mighty U.S. Navy's every requirement.
In retrospect, I see why they make fun of Canadians on South Park, their heads really do flap when they talk, at least this guy's did.
OK, we're still in the game.
Then up spoke the Navy Industrial Specialist, What he said reassured me that not everyone associated with the USN was a Total Jerk.
Our lathe was Good, and I knew that it was way better than any Standard Modern. My ears perked right up - I wanted to know what mine was stepped on.
As an amendment attached to DD Form 1155, Order for Supplies and Services, the machine specifications clearly call out that the lathe shall have the end gears and the gears in the quick change gear box made to the standards of the American Gear Manufacturer's Association.
All that means is that they want involute profiles on the gears, clunky old South Bend gears all all right for all intents and purposes.
My man turned to me and asked "what's different about the Gears in the Misal"?
So, in front of everybody I had to explain that in many modern European lathes the gear boxes are made to cut both inch and metric threads.
They use a trick in their gear boxes that lets two pairs gears of slightly different numbers of teeth. run on parallel shafts on the same centers and still mesh.
This involves cuting both gear pairs with other than true involute tooth forms.
There are also some compromises in the true gear ratios. If the metric is Kosher the English might not be and vice versa.
You would never know it unless you cut a two foot long leadscrew and checked it on a lead checking device.
Even if the Misal made it through that, there was another mine in the field. The U.S Navy demands that any lathe that they buy be put together with threaded fasteners that correspond to the Unified National Form threads and pitches.
Mercifully with a few smiles and handshakes the whole thing was over quickly after that.
I was sure to take my man aside and point out that I didn't want to be put in the position of explaining the other side's case especially when the other side really couldn't do more than recite their spec's.
I also mentioned that next time it would be a lot easer for him to bring the complete spec's to my shop than have me call out the details in front of a U.S. Senator!
[This message has been edited by JimK (edited 05-13-2004).]
Naturally I knew a lot of new machine sales reps. They thought I was weird, but it wasn't below their dignity to bug me about the technical intricasies of their competitor's machines.
One in house sales rep. went out on his own and took on the Misal Italian make line of lathes and mills. He managed to have a nice Misal lathe in stock. He had me over to pass a blessing on it. It was actually quite a nice lathe.
One day he came by my shop all red in the face. He had been disqualified from a Navy bid to supply lathes that would go on U.S. aircraft carriers.
The bid didn't go, as I had expected, to Monarch or Lodge and Shipley but was awarded to the imported Standard Modern. The S-M was sold in the area by an arch rival.
He asked me if I would accompany him as an expert witness to the office of Maryland's senator, Mac Mathias.
ummm - ok, I said. I really didn't think that real live Senators would bite.
So, at the appointed time I arrived at The Capitol Building and was ushered into the senator's conference room. My man was waiting.
Already seated also were five dignified gentlemen. Shortly, The Honorable Senator from Maryland made his entrance.
The introductions revealed that present there was one senior official from Federal Purhasing, two civilian Industrial Specilaists from the Navy Department and a Representative from Standard Modern Corp, doubtless in town from the Land of the Maple Leaf.
Right away, things didn't look good. Don Quixote was seated to The Senator's left and The Forces of The Evil Empire were seated to his right.
I felt safe sitting to The Don's left where I was only being stared down by mere tech guys.
I can hold my own with their likes any day.
The meeting got under way with The Don going through his repetoir of somebody done somebody wrong songs. His was the low bid and he had been unfairly skunked.
eeech, I wished I had stayed home and taken a nap.
The office was air conditioned and quiet, so it was fairly easy to keep still while wearing a suit and tie.
After my man stopped moaning, the senior official who wouldn't know a tailstock from his left foot assured His Honor that the entire bid process was carried out to the letter of the laws partaining to the administration of Federal Contracts.
That was bullshit, he was just saying that all the "i's" were dotted and the "t's" crossed and all the boxes were checked.
His Honor asked me if, indeed, the Misal Lathe was a 16 X 54 gear driven machine like the spec. called out, I assured him that it was, barring any peculiarity in the Navy spec.
I knew the spec. was full of land mines, but my man never shared any of the contract infrmation with me fearing that I would gain too much of his pricing information.
Hizzhonor's question aroused me from a typical Capitol Slumber (do you think those Senators and Representatives are actually awake when Congress is in session? The U.S. Capitol Building is the best napping spot in the world).
I said to myself "Now, which windmill is going to knock this fool off his horse"?
Mr. Standard Modern started in extolling the quality and strengths of his wonderful lathe. Assuring His Honor that it, in every way, met or exceeded the Mighty U.S. Navy's every requirement.
In retrospect, I see why they make fun of Canadians on South Park, their heads really do flap when they talk, at least this guy's did.
OK, we're still in the game.
Then up spoke the Navy Industrial Specialist, What he said reassured me that not everyone associated with the USN was a Total Jerk.
Our lathe was Good, and I knew that it was way better than any Standard Modern. My ears perked right up - I wanted to know what mine was stepped on.
As an amendment attached to DD Form 1155, Order for Supplies and Services, the machine specifications clearly call out that the lathe shall have the end gears and the gears in the quick change gear box made to the standards of the American Gear Manufacturer's Association.
All that means is that they want involute profiles on the gears, clunky old South Bend gears all all right for all intents and purposes.
My man turned to me and asked "what's different about the Gears in the Misal"?
So, in front of everybody I had to explain that in many modern European lathes the gear boxes are made to cut both inch and metric threads.
They use a trick in their gear boxes that lets two pairs gears of slightly different numbers of teeth. run on parallel shafts on the same centers and still mesh.
This involves cuting both gear pairs with other than true involute tooth forms.
There are also some compromises in the true gear ratios. If the metric is Kosher the English might not be and vice versa.
You would never know it unless you cut a two foot long leadscrew and checked it on a lead checking device.
Even if the Misal made it through that, there was another mine in the field. The U.S Navy demands that any lathe that they buy be put together with threaded fasteners that correspond to the Unified National Form threads and pitches.
Mercifully with a few smiles and handshakes the whole thing was over quickly after that.
I was sure to take my man aside and point out that I didn't want to be put in the position of explaining the other side's case especially when the other side really couldn't do more than recite their spec's.
I also mentioned that next time it would be a lot easer for him to bring the complete spec's to my shop than have me call out the details in front of a U.S. Senator!
[This message has been edited by JimK (edited 05-13-2004).]
