OT: Adult son hospitalized due to mania

This post is very personal and the only reason I am sharing it is to help me cope and understand.

My adult son was hospitalized against his will Tuesday afternoon. He had been manic for 5 days, showing signs of confusion, appetite change, and restlessness. It came to a head Tuesday. I felt I had no choice but to call 911 and have him hospitalized, as he was not cooperative at that time when coercing him to let me take him in.

We had seen a Primary Care Physician Monday, and I requested that the Dr. give a referral to a Specialist. I finally today got a call back with the referral. Much too late!

I have been through a similar, less potentially violent series of manic episodes with my 30 year old son. He was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2005, with his first manic break in 2003. He initially rejected the Dr's diagnosis, and ultimately quit taking the Lithium prescribed. He since fell in love, got married to a complete saint of a woman, and has been on another less-powerful med. His life seems to have leveled out.

The younger son has been going through some marital problems. He moved back to Washington State (with me, still divorced and single) July 5 and we have enjoyed out time together. He was offered a lucrative position with Motorola, but failed the required urinalysis for employment. He had been using legalized (wa state law) marijuana all day every day until the drug test results came back. I voiced my concern about this heavy use, and his take was it would not be legal if it were dangerous.

He quit using pot, throwing all of his paraphernalia and stash away. This was two weeks ago. He was exercising, drinking copious amounts of juice, tea, and water to try and flush the toxins out of his system. A week into this program is when the mania set in.

I am feeling the need for some community, and turn here as I have formed some solid friendships (although mostly through writing with the occasional phone conversation and meet and greet) with members of this fine forum. If any of you can help out a father whose heart is breaking, that is surely appreciated.

Mark

My sister's eldest son has wrecked his life with strong " Weed " as we call it over here. After he'd had several attempts at wrecking their house he finally flipped about 5 months ago. He held an axe to her throat and she finally had to call the police.

His case is going through the courts now and the charges are pretty serious. He could go to jail, it's hard to say. He needs medical help really, he'd probably get abused in prison.

I don't know how to help him or her any more than I know how to help you.

She's in my thoughts most of the time along with my own son who in and out of jobs most of the time
He's in work now, how long for who knows ?

You'll also be in my thoughts. Good luck, I hope things improve for you and yours.

Regards Tyrone.

It sounds like you have been through a lot and my best wishes and prayers are with you and your family right now.

As is often the case bi-polar sufferers self medicate with drugs or alcohol to keep the thoughts quieter. The anxious thoughts can slow down with self medication. This doesn't make things better overall but the temporary relief seems worth it at the time. Perhaps this experience, no matter how bad, will show him the need for medication maintenance. Bi-polar can be nasty as it can hide in a long cycle of feeling ok or sad and depressed than suddenly or slowly cycle to uncontrolled mania. It is nothing to ignore but if he is on a slow cycle it can feel like the meds are unnecessary. Lithium can be a useful but also a very dangerous drug if levels become too high from other meds or life changes. I hope they find him meds that work and he sees the need to avoid this from happening again. I am guessing he is feeling overwhelmed, embarrassed and a bit terrified right now. It doesn't ever have to happen like this again though with the right medications and follow up care.

Again, I wish your family the best in dealing with this. I suspect he will be fine soon and this might never happen again.

God bless,

Dan

Might be good time to get him over to the U.W. for some blood work. A friend of mine did that once he was suicidal, and a psychiatrist there was able to look at his results from a test and determine what medicine he needed. The worst part was the doctor wouldn't prescribe it for him. He had to go out on his own and find a doctor who worked with that medicine and get on a waiting list to see said doctor. Kinda shitty to tell a suicidal person they have to wait a month to see a doctor.
Hang tough, PM me if you need to meet someone for a beer.

Mark,

I'm new here. I'm not sure I'm the one you would want to hear from. I have no real answers. I can only relate - I think. Although, I don't have a son going through this, I do have a daughter-in-law that we were forced to do the very same thing with. She's been home for two days and it's been hell on wheels for everyone involved. We're still not clear whether this has been brought on by a head injury, drug use, or both. There's a nine year old boy involved in this bullshit. It is a mess to say the least. I lived with a woman about 23 years ago that exhibited the same symptoms as bipolar, but never could get her to go see anyone. As it turns out this is VERY common as the person afflicted cannot see their actions as detrimental to relationships, etc. They think they are fine. Also, it turns out that getting the authorities involved is quite common as well. So, don't beat yourself up over having to do that. You were acting in his best interest.

I found this just yesterday. You may already know all about it, but I didn't. Just in case, the link follows:

Helping a Loved One with Bipolar Disorder: Children, Teens, and Family

The very MOST difficult part is not taking the hurtful things they say personally. They can say things that will absolutely cut you to the bone. Yeah, there are some sharp tongues on this forum, but it's MUCH different hearing things from someone you care for so deeply such as a son, or wife even. Takes some sure enough fortitude.

All the best,
Wayne

I would say the weed could just as possibly been holding him together as the cause. regardless a page has turned and what he needs now is support. they will help him in the facility he is in now. but a "cure" is rarley simple. if one med does not work, try another. but never assume anybody but you is watching out for his long term interest. you can get through this. lithium is far from the only magic bullet. it may take a handful and a long time to get where he needs to be. a young man and the super strong agents are tough because they can't drink and of course everyone drinks. so be mindful around birthdays and other events because they will "quit for just a few days" and next thing you know they are off the rails.
you can do it brother
pm me for a phone number if you want to talk. I've got 30 years care giving and can maybe help.

wb

I had a brother who had similar signs and stopped taking his prescribed lithium. He too when he was 46 smoked pot and occasionally consumed this window pane acid shit that was going around back then. I got a phone call at work one day from a hospital trauma center stating my brother was being treated from a self inflected gun shot wound to the head. I arrived at the hospital 75 miles away and seen he had a perfectly round .458 diameter hole in his right temple and it exited the other side of his head in the center of his side burn. He used a 1911 45 acp to shoot himself and only accomplished blowing out his right eye and severing the optical nerve in the other eye. He was pleading with me to finish him off as demons were chasing him. I believe the drugs he was taking brought this on. He was 46 years old at the time 19 years ago. From what I was told there are 100's of thousands of kids in school today that are on some kind prescribed drug for behavioral disorders.

Mark -- I know this is a really tough time for you, your son, and maybe especially his mother. Sometimes it's the most promising and brightest kids who seem susceptible. A stepson went through something similar. After an agonizing and heart-breaking couple of decades, he's now doing pretty well.

Since we guys are always in "fix it" mode (my wife hates that), a few thoughts. 1) Marijuana can trigger latent problems. 2) If you haven't already, you and your family should try to join a class etc. on the mental illness -- helps everyone to stop blaming themselves or others and figure a way forward. "NAMI" is one source. 3) A psychological diagnosis is pretty much a guess -- we've got a thick book of labels but not so good an understanding of all the underlying mechanisms. 4) Lithium is a first generation medicine. There are now some second and third generation drugs that work better and longer and with less side effects. Your son may have to try several (and it takes months to taper off one and taper on to the other) -- to find one that works.

As with "wippin boy's" offer, feel free to PM for a phone number if you'd like.

Mental illness. Talk about one of life's greatest trials.

My personal belief is that it is one of the major tests God allows us to deal with in this life.

It is, simply put, the most painful, frightening, difficult and tragic struggle I've ever had to face. Losing dad to suicide, having siblings deal with extreme phobias, depression...and on and on.

Isn't it frustrating how little us humans know about it? Medications that work, but we still aren't sure why. Shock therapy that works great on some, and does nothing for others. I really believe mental health care is in the Dark Ages compared to other medical advances. But it will continue to improve!!

I put genuine hope in breakthroughs happening in mental health. They WILL happen, they are happening... And this is coming from a real skeptic who thinks everything is too good to be true. Honest!

This trial you and your family are suffering must be absolutely huge and overwhelming. You just keep living, doing, being and supporting as best you can. And I'll pray for you guys. It is absolutely amazing what happens when fervent prayer "availeth much".

I hope you know I long for you to feel some comfort ahead. This is a very tough, very personal trial.

You hang tight! Be confident and grateful that you have put forth effort to help your son already.

Mark,
Seems like we know each other a bit after these several years on PM. Although I don't have a direct connection to this type of problem, I did have my mother in law living here for 1½ years. She was the sweetest woman until dementia began destroying her. From the day we moved her in (against everyone's warnings), she was a handful. Never an easy day....never. I most certainly understand your anguish. My avatar has my #.
Ray

first "manic" episode, just after stopping cold turkey with heavy cannabis usage
might just be withdrawal symptoms
beeing the first episode i would give it time without medication and see what happens
all psychiatric drugs have side effects, some of a nature that makes the "cure" worse than the ailment

a psychiatre is like a car mechanic that is put in front of a car, bonnet open, with his eyes bandaged and with thick mittens on, that gets told the motor wont run and he has to fix it

i have seen some of my clients in psychiatry get to build up a fairly normal life, ( as it seems your eldest has) and they all had some supportive home system

Wish the best for you and your son Mark.
My friend's daughter Jackie finally went straight this summer. She started using at 14 and that was 35 years ago. Yes it was harder stuff but she started wit pot.

My youngest sister joined the Army and had her manic the first week of boot camp at age 27. She didn't care for booze, never did any other drugs. After about a week in patient, the base psych ward called and told my Mom she better come pick her up, or they are just going to shove her ass out the gates. She was 10 states away. The 20 hour drive home, with a sister as hyper as a coke head, and more delusional than Timmothy Leary on his strangest trip ever, was not as much fun as it may sound. The resulting weeks were hell as well. We lived in Illinois at the time, where it's hard to involuntarily commit someone who "isn't a physical threat to themselves or others".

Long and short of it; Horses Don't Like Strawberries! Although the face one made one day, on an ill advised fishing trip I tried to take her on was priceless. Her actions that day caused a doctor to hold her longer than the normal 3 days, and it took awhile, but she did get stable by the time that particular "trip" was over.

She's not doing to bad today (some might argue better than myself). I can still tell she's on something that's keeping her down and in some ways she's not herself, but she's doing good.


Hang in there. The best shot your kid has is a family willing to go to the ends of the earth for them. Thats what he needs now, as much if not more than ever. Be strong, and firm, but loving.

I'm always so sad to hear of these things.

I have some ultra simple advice for YOU (Mark) and other caregivers (which I learned about the hard way with a vaguely similar episode)

1. Sleep. Find a way to sleep.

2. Eat. I lost 8 pounds in 1 week dealing with a similar crises - this is not good for you and does not help the patient.

Those things sound silly, but when somebody you care about is behaving in ways that are deeply troubling and frightening, it's easy to end up sleep deprived or malnourished and these things make it harder for you to do anything, including care for person who is ill.

People CAN and DO get their lives together after these sorts of episodes, have faith, and hang in there.

My advice is to be careful about overdignosis. I was once in the hospital for a medical problem and met with a Psychiatrist to see how I felt about things. She asked about my work history and I explained that I had started my fist company at 17, made the Inc 500 at twenty nine, sold that company, started a medical device company and sold it 18 months later, started another medical device company, started my current business and had 10 patents at the time. She diagnosed me as delusional, out of touch with reality and suffering with delusions of grandeur. She told my wife she thought I should be committed long term. My wife was pissed and said "Did you Google him?" Boy did I receive an apology the next day. Thank God my wife didn't want to get rid of me for a while.

My point is that you need to be careful that your son is getting treated for what is wrong without them going overboard. You HAVE to be his advocate right now. They won't listen to him because he has been labeled "sick". Take care of his treatment and I suspect he will do well.

Very importantly take care of yourself, he needs you to take care of his treatment right now and keep a level head. I suspect this will turn out well with the right support and treatment.

He is not crazy, he is just sick right now. We all get sick from time to time but sometimes it is physical and sometimes it is mental. It is just an illness and can and will get better.

My prayers continue,

Dan

Take care of you and your wife FIRST.

Then try to rationally care for your son.

Then go see your Priest,Pastor,Rabbi for a pep talk.

We're all thinking/praying for you and your family.

Touchy subject...I mean this with the very best intent.

Any chance he could have replaced the MJ with the "bath salts" type shit in an effort to pass a screen thinking it was a safe alternative?

Had a relative get started on that crap, didn't turn out well( actually not true she made a full recovery)
Nothing more worrying than trouble with your kids of any kind.

All my best, hang in there.

I am very sorry to hear of all these problems members here are having.
I will keep you all in my prayers !

TH

Sorry to hear of your son's troubles. Fortunately, it's treatable and the long term prognosis is good.

Consider yourself blessed that you're aware of it and sought that treatment. He's got a fighting chance with you by his side.

I've been blindsided by an adult daughter with an Ivy League education and an opioid problem. There's one which will keep you on edge for years to come. And I had to battle this all while dealing with my widowed mom afflicted with dementia. She recently passed so I can now focus on my daughter, stop being an enabler (by virtue of always picking up the pieces) and just being "moral support" from this point on. And pray she survives.

No experience with this, aerodark, but I've enjoyed what you've written and clearly a lot of others feel like we have a bond of friendship. Clearly, too, the thoughts and prayers of a lot of your friends here are with you.

I hope this responds as positively as possible as quickly as possible. I agree with others: if you have support from a church, synagogue, mosque, or whatever, now's the time to lean on that faith base. Or even local friends. Probably best to find a friend who is least like me: someone who will shut up and just be there and listen.

Best of luck.