My partner is autistic to some degree, she also has other similar types of issues. It can be tricky, it can be a problem. I have spent a lot of time working with her on stuff though and its definitely helped, shes now way more out going and will hold a conversation to some degree with other people.
That said, a key parts getting advice as much as you can. Theres no magic drug based fix. Her situation is made far worse by her mother (a special needs paediatric nurse) Being in total denial there’s anything wrong with her own daughter, guess it just hits too close to home. From what i can make out as a kid she was just left to get on with it, which by and large seamed to have involved just letting her play board games and puzzels, no real group based - usual family interactions despite being the middle of 3 sisters. Originaly we met online with the aid of one of her friends. Im the first person in her life thats really tried to help!! Which is kinda sad. Her oldest sister had her down as just useless, the youngest well, i don't think she kinda knew what to do. Dad seamed busy at work - would just get angry with her over anything and everything. When i met her, they pretty much just used her as a house made to look after her dyeing granddad who was a real arse hole too her If he had not already been dieing i would have probably broken the fuckers kneck myself.
You need to be open, you need to talk about it, you need to find solutions. Being embarrassed gets no were, ignoring it - hoping it goes away is a real bad bad plan. Treat it just as you would a problem in this trade, don't make it personal, don't lay blame, just find solutions to the problems as they crop up and its really not then much of a issue, try to ignore it - lay blame and it just reflects on you more than it does them. Like any disability it can be as limiting as you let it. Theres a lot of help available, but it can be a struggle to find at first.
Then there comes the coping strategies, in my case its having her trust me, often doing simple tasks and above all getting her to get use for asking for help when shes stuck. From my perspective its very very strange at times, I can have her running a complex job on a machine, it can be as repetitive as hell, but once she has it mastered shes fine. Anything goes wrong and its a crap shot as to if she notices or if she can work out what to do. At times she very much blue screens and locks up just like a windows PC would.
Last night she decided to clean the kitchen oven, as is typical, the inside of the ovens now spot less, so are 3 of the 4 hobs, the forth one was still filthy - untouched. This seams very typical, she can't keep track of things - plan and carry out tasks. Yet give her something that sets the routine, like a machine that stops when it wants to be emptied - refilled and shes fine. She likes to cook, but whilst great at makeing a cake, use to excell at burning it to literally carbon. A simple timer which she sets that turns the oven off and we now have great cakes :-) Every problem has a solution, some one with autism, won't find that themselves, problem solving if anything seams to be the definition at times of autistic behaviours, they need help finding the solutions to there problems. But once they see it, they can and will use it going forwards.
Other things like fetching things or something as simple as filling a ice cube tray and putting it in the freezer can be a real challenge (she would fill the tray with water then not dare move in case she spilled it). Solution to that ones simple, had a great water fight, learnt spilling water in the middle of summer does not matter - no ones going to be angry and we now buy ice :-) Key thing thats taken me way longer than i ever realised it would is to get her use to the fact its ok to try but fail at something. EG if you have curly hair but use a hair straightener but then go out in the fog its going to be a bad hair day!! Doing that does not make it wrong to try and straighten your hair, just might be better to go for a different style!
Communication can be a struggle too, autistic people by and large exhibit odd - unusual body language. When i originally met her, despite damn near never letting go of me, there was no notion of looking at the person she was speaking too. No notion of maintaining eye contact. Something that back then due to my deafness made holding a conversation even harder. Thankfully though, due to the online dating side and text based chat it really was not much of a obstacle.
The other advice i can give you is that it can vary significantly day to day, as she gets tired the problems very much get worse. Sleep and a good diet defiantly helps. Also it pays to keep interactions kinda simple. IE don't ask a long list of questions at once even if dead simple, one at a time and its no problem, same goes with asking them for things, one thing at a time works way better than asking for a bunch of things at once. Group situations - crowded environments - lots of stimulus at once is a big problem, she will get very lost - confused and eventually scared. That can then result in anger but we have been working on that one too.
IMHO you have a golden opportunity here, you have found it early, you can start finding the solutions to the problems now, you can focus on the problems and help way more than you praphs realise. Just like any disability its only as disabling as you let it be. You can greatly influence that way more going forwards than you ever realise. Autistic people are often not thick, they just have issues with certain trains of thought - thought processors.
My partner these days is a very very different person to the one i met, shes got some degree of confidence, she has a full time job (took a few, but finally got one were shes told what to do all the time and its been a steady 5+ years of employment) Currently were trying to decide about starting a family, big part of that though is trying to work out some of the problems ahead of time to make it cop-able for both of us. Yeah its going to be a struggle, but we both want it so it probably will happen in time. Remember, the futures what you help make it for the kid, not just a diagnosis. If your partner is open to this, can take it on - get over any feelings of blame the skys the limit, but i can't stress enough how much of its end effects on the kids life is down to you guys and your attitudes to it now. Autism in some was is not the problem, its how society treats that label!