OT maybe -- Downside to friends on Practical machinist

FredC · Mar 14, 2018

Is there a down side to having friends on this site?
I just had a friend request from a long time member who has never posted anything. First time ever since I have been lurking and participating here that anyone has requested this.
I looked at some of the profiles of long time contributors and most have no friends. Even Larry Vanice has no friends and he is as knowledgeable and helpful as anyone here.
So is there a hidden downside or is it that machinists are just such independent cats that they do not need to be like other social media users?
I PMed the requester and told him I was going to decline because it just does not seem to be done here and twice have tried unsuccessfully to decline, maybe there is a trick to that also.

HuFlungDung · Mar 14, 2018

Doesn't seem to be all that useful to me. If you can write in a civil manner when asking or receiving, that's good enough. Then, 'we're friends', AFAIC.

In a mystical sense, this (and other forums) is akin to being a 'prayer room': you make your request and hope for a response. Only diff is "God" here writes you an answer in a few minutes

A forum can be a remarkable tool, really.

mjk · Mar 14, 2018

This site is the closest I 'll get to a "social media" site

A like of a post I've made is enough for me.
A good discussion and an occasiaonal jab in humor is what I look for
Not that I don't like people, just don't need to document my list
I don't need any more drama in my life

While I'm thinking of it, and semi related.

Would it be morbid to start a section "In memorium' with links to info regarding passing of members?

Mike

Yes I'm old enough to look in the obits page to see if I'm stilll alive....

Kyle Smith · Mar 14, 2018

mjk said:
Would it be morbid to start a section "In memorium' with links to info regarding passing of members?

I have thought the same thing, like a cemetery for the forum, but always that it crass and inappropriate to bring up. I'm glad you did.

Danny VanVoorn · Mar 14, 2018

I have one person that requested to be a friend in what 15 or so years, I knew him locally and clicked an OK button. I haven't seen anything that has changed other than I am retired now and seem to see him more lately in person?
OTOH some of my old buddies from years ago tried to get me to sign up on face book and I never got as far as creating a profile or page or whatever it's called. Something about needing to ask if I can be a friend or not seemed counter social, I don't think I have enough friends but the few I have are good ones that I feel blessed to have and didn't need nor ask permission.
Dan

crazygoat · Mar 14, 2018

OTOH some of my old buddies from years ago tried to get me to sign up on face book and I never got as far as creating a profile or page or whatever it's called. Something about needing to ask if I can be a friend or not seemed counter social, I don't think I have enough friends but the few I have are good ones that I feel blessed to have and didn't need nor ask permission.
Dan[/QUOTE]

Good for you! I feel the same about all that social media crap.

Toolroomguy · Mar 14, 2018

FredC said:
Is there a down side to having friends on this site?
I just had a friend request from a long time member who has never posted anything.

Forgive my ignorance, but what is the upside to populating a "friends" list?

ewlsey · Mar 14, 2018

I get a friend request a few times a year. Usually, it's a new member with few posts. I reject all of them. I don't see what benefit it has. It's nothing personal, just a dumb feature of the forum software.

FredC · Mar 14, 2018

Quote "Forgive my ignorance, but what is the upside to populating a "friends" list?"

I have no idea, I should have asked that question also. I have tried the decline button twice but the reminder remains. I may try the accept button to make the reminder go away.

FredC · Mar 14, 2018

ewlsey said:
I reject all of them. I don't see what benefit it has. It's nothing personal, just a dumb feature of the forum software.

How do you do that?
I have clicked on reject and then save and the notice is still there. I have clicked on reject then backed out of the page and it still has not gone away.

I figured it out, you have to select the person you are rejecting first. I had already replied to the individual that it was nothing personal, just did not see it being the thing here.

Tyrone Shoelaces · Mar 14, 2018

Four people have asked to be my " friend " on the site . I couldn't really see any harm in it so I said OK. I haven't requested to be anybodies friend, it's just not my style. Having said that there are people on this site that I've never even met that I consider really good friends. I will forever be in the debt of a friend who helped me sort out my deceased father-in-laws legal affairs and wouldn't accept anything in return. Other guys have shown me real acts of kindness and generosity. I've tried to reciprocate and one or two " friends " have got a token of my respect in their toolboxes. It's just I don't need an official stamp of approval.

Regards Tyrone.

stephen thomas · Mar 14, 2018

I'm not on any social media so maybe just unfriendly

IOW, it seems like if you are on facebook or whatever is cool these days, then it is just a regular feature of being connected. (Wife's board decided it was mandatory for her program - she explained that for people that choose to, being "friends" widens the circle of people you see their friends, etc. If I got it right, you can see how many degrees of separation there are between you and Trump, e.g.

) Some actually believe it makes them a better person to have as many "friends" as possible. Don't get that at all.

On PM, equal opportunity, I ignore them all.
If I've actually been paying attention (seldom) & know the person, have tended to sent a PM saying WTTE "I already count you as a friend, but I don't do the public notice social media thing".

smt

FredC · Mar 14, 2018

Thanks,
I have down for sure now. Machinists are just independent cool cats. We don't need no confirmation.

steve45 · Mar 14, 2018

I don't consider electronic 'friends' to be real friends. Real friends are people that will come over to your house and help you move or pour concrete.

rke[pler · Mar 14, 2018

steve45 said:
I don't consider electronic 'friends' to be real friends. Real friends are people that will come over to your house and help you move or pour concrete.

I've always heard it as "Friend help you move. Real friends help you move.... heavy equipment and machinery".

ripperj · Mar 14, 2018

Real friends return tools you were stupid enough to lend.... without asking

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

toolsteel · Mar 14, 2018

I consider everyone here a "friend" in the sense that we discuss things and meet here, time permitting, to bs and or help with technical stuff that non manufacturing ppl dont understand......even the ppl that piss me off.
Now if you are talking actual friends.....I have 2 actual friends that i see on a regular basis and whom i would trust everything to.....and thats probably more than most ppl have.

TDegenhart · Mar 14, 2018

Now you got me curious. I am not a member of a social network like facebook. So as someone to be my "friend". What does that do for me or the other person. Is this a popularity contest to see how many "friends" I can accumulate? Is a "friend" supposed to special that I chat with outside of the forum? I am confused by the who friends concept.
:confused:

Tom

9100 · Mar 14, 2018

TDegenhart said:
Now you got me curious. I am not a member of a social network like facebook. So as someone to be my "friend". What does that do for me or the other person. Is this a popularity contest to see how many "friends" I can accumulate? Is a "friend" supposed to special that I chat with outside of the forum? I am confused by the who friends concept.

Tom

On Facebook your posts will be sent to your friends so it performs a service, helping keep up with them. A lady friend signed me up but I rarely post anything. Getting occasional updates is useful. I don't see a function like that on PM.

Bill

bhigdog · Mar 14, 2018

Only needy people beg for friends...........Bob

OT maybe -- Downside to friends on Practical machinist

Diamond

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Cast Iron

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