OT, another patent that got by

surplusjohn · Feb 8, 2012

in reference to the poster last week with the un-likely patent. Here is one that must of been conceived over many beers: Patent US20070050958 - Easy inter burial container - Google Patents

Let me see, lets make coffins in the shape of a screw and just screw them into the ground. I cant imagine they ever tested the idea.

Screwmachine · Feb 8, 2012

Considering the limited real estate in cemeteries, it's not a bad idea. Never get commercialized though, that's for sure.

adh2000 · Feb 8, 2012

A lot of the figures show a left handed thread, but some are right handed. Very confusing.

Alan

Ray Behner · Feb 9, 2012

I can't imagine a tractor with a 3-point and gearbox is gonna twist that thing into the earth, let alone one man. That's some big HP required to screw that gizmo in the earth. Yeah, what's with the right hand left hand thread? Must be for the "cosmic set". Earth's axis and all that crap.

Spud · Feb 9, 2012

Why not just bury the casket in the vertical position?

What a waste of resources to make this supersized screw contraption. :nutter:

davycrocket · Feb 9, 2012

Would have been easier for the body snatchers though in the days of Leonardo Da Vinci,for his anatomy drawings. Just screw the lid off and lift -em out by the hair . ! The left and right thread option is for Northern or Southern hemisphere users, so they don't screw theselves out of the ground due to the earth spinning ! . A bit like LH and RH knock on hubs on cars. . And Metric thread available for Europe of course .

But just in case the ground is hard and you need a pilot hole !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVBlqqK0Ac8

Davycrocket

wb2vsj · Feb 9, 2012

First page of text after the diagrams:

"Federally Sponsored Research"

Also, aren't caskets supposed to be buried a min. depth below ground?

Jim_Lou · Feb 9, 2012

First page of text after the diagrams:

"Federally Sponsored Research"

But above and below that it says "Not applicable". I certainly hope that's the case.

rivett608 · Feb 9, 2012

"left handed thread, but some are right handed".... Northern and Southern hemisphere??????

""Federally Sponsored Research""...... maybe they were designed for sand..... a Halliburton project?

But I think it was the draftsman that was buying the beer.... 19 pages of drawings!!!!!... he/she was the only person to make any money on this!

Good morning laugh, thanks....

MilGunsmith · Feb 9, 2012

"I am sure I am not the only one who has encountered individuals so hardened and twisted that when they passed-on, all the burial ceremonies required was to cross-slot their shoe-soles, stand 'em head-down, and twist them slowly into the ground."

Like most politicians

GregSY · Feb 9, 2012

You get screwed all your life...now they want to do it one last time when you're dead.

adammil1 · Feb 9, 2012

Figure 27 looks the most interesting of all showing how such a design can secure the casket even when the ground above it gets flooded. Those talking about federal research funding it, I wonder if this is the reason. I thought places like New Orleans you can't bury people below ground as the water table is so high they would float up and out.

I suppose the easier way of handling it is to just allow water into the casket so no longer boyant but maybe that would bother the loved ones? I am also not sure if the decomposition of the body would be a biohazard too. Perhaps this overcomes that?

In the tradition I suscribe to we go in a pinewood box and that is it so no need to seal in our decomposition for an eternitiy. I am not sure how seeing grampa getting screwed into the ground at a funeral would be any more comforting but still! Who knows maybe a follow on patent to that device would be a nice tap so you could properly thread the bore first

?

At any rate the next question that comes up is John, how did you stumble upon this? Are you sitting on a better idea to reinvent the casket and doing a prior art study? Oh well time to get to work.

surplusjohn · Feb 9, 2012

Adam, I was looking up something on Google Patent and this was one of the 4 or 5 they put in the headline. Normally they mix the absurb with the famous.

Ciszewski · Feb 9, 2012

Hello Surplusjohn
The one on sheet 11 looks like an end mill. I guess that's for departed machinists.

SteveF · Feb 9, 2012

One step closer to soylent green. :willy_nilly:

Steve

SND · Feb 9, 2012

Surprising they didn't think it would be a better idea to blast them into space like they want to do with CO2 storage.

I was thinking more along the lines of a nice 316SS welded coffin, filled with 100psi of argon, and it has to be comfy after spending your life standing, so definitely not a vertical set up.

lazlo · Feb 9, 2012

Ray Behner said:
I can't imagine a tractor with a 3-point and gearbox is gonna twist that thing into the earth, let alone one man. That's some big HP required to screw that gizmo in the earth.

I've got an improvement to his patent: eliminate the screw threads, and put fins on the headstone. The you can fly overhead and air-drop the coffins.

They'll plant themselves like lawn darts.

SteveF · Feb 9, 2012

lazlo said:
I've got an improvement to his patent: eliminate the screw threads, and put fins on the headstone. The you can fly overhead and air-drop the coffins.

They'll plant themselves like lawn darts.

Damn it!! You just made me spray diet Coke all over my desk!!

Steve

HuFlungDung · Feb 9, 2012

Exerpts from Practical Machinist in 3012:
"Stripped threads on coffin: how to fix?"
"Seized coffin: am I turning it the right way?"
"Cross threaded metric coffin into imperial threads: how to fix?"
"Helicoil for coffin threads in mud?"
"Reboring coffin for multiple occupants?"
"Thread whirling coffin threads?"
"What size pilot hole do I need for a coffin for 600 lb occupant?"

Get your answers ready and patent 'em

usmachine · Feb 9, 2012

Pretty funny

We drew up something like that in junior high drafting class and then got sent to the principals office :willy_nilly:

OT, another patent that got by

Diamond

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