I only know Sunnen:
1) There is no substitute for honing oil, preferably Sunnen. Nothing else prevents galling and stone problems as well. Yes, I've fumbled along with DIY substitutes, but they're a far second. The stuff is expensive but if you're serious about getting decent results, you bite the bullet and buy it.
2) Truing sleeves can be pretty much any steel of the right size. You want your truing sleeve to be the same size as what you're going to hone, so the stones and shoes match up. You use the sleeve by honing it with just a bit of oil, then shut the oil off. The stones create their own grinding paste and everything wears in to perfect geometry. Sometimes, if you have enough parts, a sacrificial part makes a nice truing sleeve. Once the process is going, you shouldn't have to use truing sleeves often, if at all.
3) Follow the recommendations for stones and settings- they've been doing this for a while!
4) Be sure to set up a clamp and use the torque bar. Safety first!