Apparently your emotional development is arrested at about the time somebody starts doing drugs, so if you stared smoking pot etc at 13, you'll never be emotionally older than 13.
I seriously think he went backward, at 12 when he would come to visit he was always looking for chores to earn extra spending money. Fast forward to three stints with me between 16 and 18. His mother put him on a bus, he obviously had become unfocused and lazy. I figured the first thing to try was piece work on stuff a monkey could do after he sucked down a 12 pack. Deburring parts, painting parts, cleaning, packing, general clean up, etc. I just paid him cash until I was sure he was going to make it.
To really dangle the carrot I based his piece rate on what I could do paying myself $30 an hour at 3/4 speed. I hauled ass and took 75% of that rate. If someone offered that deal I would have finished a job as fast as I could and asked what's next. I would have drained my uncle's wallet in no time. Since everything he earned was free and clear since I was putting him up and feeding him he was satisfied at making $50-$60 a day. I had plenty of work and was running myself ragged to keep up. He could have made $1500 a week cash at 16! He was more than happy with $300-$400, the rest of the time he was on his phone or eating me out of house and home. After he had a decent bankroll he would make up what I found out later were lies to go back home. I knew he lied a lot but I figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt. He was a High School dropout and not going back. Once he was broke he would say all his business at home was done and he wanted to come back.
After this behavior repeated twice and he turned 18 I was done with him. Three strikes and you are out. It was later found out he was going home to party, there were no court dates, probation officer appointments, or ex girlfriends that might be pregnant. I also found evidence he was using drugs at my home and his mother asked if I had solvents around, she said he was also probably huffing when he was at my place.
So sad, 12 year old straight A student. My best friend had a straight a student daughter the same age. We had them married off and him taking over my business. Half the story turned out good my friend's daughter got straight A's
in college and is a Christian who lives a clean life. My family member did a long stint in state prison.