I'm tired. Tired and I don't think I have any left in me, to give my company

[CITIZEN F16]

They keep building better idiots.

That family member worked hard to become the village idiot, he wasn't born that way. Ex A student till he started using drugs, then it was anything to get high. I wouldn't be surprised if he huffed paint or sniffed glue. He is in his late 20's now and not as smart as he was at 12.

 

[Jashley73]

There's a lot to do in Palm Springs before you'll feel the need to reach for the KY.

That Kentucky style jelly doesn't taste very good.

As a born & raised Kentucky resident, I can't tell you the sum total amount of time I've spent confused over the years regarding KY jelly. Eventually I figure it out, and then, "Oh yeah, now it makes sense..."

Something to do with an ancient Chinese proverb: "He who laughs last, laughs hardest."





Anyway back on topic. You all were saying something about the younger crowd getting dumber with every generation. What's that mean again...?

 

[snowman]

Holy crap it seems like half the people that commented on this thread are now banned. Yikes.

Anyway, re: sleep. I've got a long history of generalized anxiety disorder, which has led to sleep disorders. When it started, I was just anxious. I'd lie in bed at night unable to shut my mind off. I found that taking a xanax shut it right off. My doc gave me more xanax. It shut my mind off. Then I needed to up the dose. But my doc kept writing the scripts. Around 2011, I started seeing a shrink. She asked how I felt, and I was basically numb. By the time I was off the xanax, I had basically lost two years of memory.

I've taken all the sleeping drugs. Right now, I take 3 mg of lunesta to sleep. I avoid all caffeine after noon. I avoid fatty meals prior to taking my sleeping pill. I avoid hot baths prior to sleep. And I sleep with a CPAP.

In combination with the lunesta, I've taken THC edibles, benadryl, trazadone, gabapentin, hydrocodone, you name it...if it knocked me out, I've taken it. None of them work. Benadryl leaves me hung over. Trazadone is a joke. Gabapentin is a joke. Hydrocodone works, but I guess there was a risk of death as well as the whole dependence. Pharmacist sorta flipped out on me about it. Who knew.

I work emergency vet medicine because I was lonely being self employed, but I still have the business as a side hustle. My anxiety is again getting to me, and at times I have difficulty getting to sleep. Lately it's more a difficulty staying asleep.

Avoid THC. Avoid alcohol. Both are readily avaialble without a script, but both lead to bigger problems IMO.

Ultimately, the ONLY advice I can give you is to get your mind right. Set boundaries. Don't break them. It's one thing for a business to swallow some cash to get over a hump...but it sounds like you've been carrying it for quite a while.

FWIW, I'm really nervous about finances right now. I've busted my ass for four years, above and beyond, and have myself in the best shape financially that I've ever been in. But with a combination of rampant inflation, and the exact same "how much longer can I just keep treading water", I'm really of the opinion that I'm not that much better off than I was.

That has me depressed as hell because I feel like I've busted my ass for nothing.

 

[cnctoolcat]

Snowman,

You should try getting some of the high quality weed, and smoke some in the evenings. Bowl, bong, joint — take your pick.

After a couple/few hours (and maybe a snack or two, hehe), the weed will eventually make you drowsy.

I have a bit of anxiety disorder, tinged with mild depression at times, so sleep can be difficult.

Falling asleep is the easy part these days (hehe), but staying asleep for more than just a few hours can be tricky.

Benadryl works pretty good for me to fall asleep, and get a few hours at least. Yet, it doesn’t make me feel any different the next day, so aside from maybe liver damage, there’s no penalty for me to take it.

Doc prescribed me Ambian, and when I have to get some quality sleep, one of those works every time.

I do drink two or three cups of coffee each day, up to lunch. And maybe one Diet Coke in a day. Probably too much caffeine, but I gotta have it!

ToolCat

 

[snowman]

I've tried. It works to get me to sleep, it works to keep me asleep.

One, It slows my memory recall to a point where the day after I can tell that I smoked. It's embarrassing to talk to clients and stumble over words that are normally part of my vocabulary. They may not know why, but I do.

Two, I am less emotionally present for my family.

Finally, I get rebound anxiety. The next day, all the anxiety that was held at bay seems to hit me, as well as any anxiety from that day.

I really blame most of it on Covid. We all sat at home (or work) getting on without a majority of the stress we normally have. We all got this taste of something that had a little more reward with a little less investment of energy. I ate home cooked meals, I cooked with my wife, I hung out with my daughter, etc etc etc...and I did it all on less money. Then I went back to work where people seemed meaner, more selfish, and less patient. Because of workload, my diet returned to fast food or takeout. My interactions with my daughter are after school, between sleepovers or practices, and we are both exhausted. Now on top of that, my money isn't going as far.

Pretty sad really

 

[mhajicek]

Snowman,

You should try getting some of the high quality weed, and smoke some in the evenings.

Bear in mind that if you do that, you're permanently surrendering your 2A rights according to federal law, regardless of local legality.

 

[Garwood]

That family member worked hard to become the village idiot, he wasn't born that way. Ex A student till he started using drugs, then it was anything to get high. I wouldn't be surprised if he huffed paint or sniffed glue. He is in his late 20's now and not as smart as he was at 12.

I know people like that. I have employed people like that. Not a chance in hell that's happening again.

 

[kustomizer]

I'm 56, never did any drugs, but was way smarter as a teen than I am today.

 

[triumph406]

That family member worked hard to become the village idiot, he wasn't born that way. Ex A student till he started using drugs, then it was anything to get high. I wouldn't be surprised if he huffed paint or sniffed glue. He is in his late 20's now and not as smart as he was at 12.

Apparently your emotional development is arrested at about the time somebody starts doing drugs, so if you stared smoking pot etc at 13, you'll never be emotionally older than 13.

 

[Yan Wo]

I'm 56, never did any drugs, but was way smarter as a teen than I am today.

Indeed! I used to know everything and wasn't afraid to let everyone know it.

 

[TeachMePlease]

Bear in mind that if you do that, you're permanently surrendering your 2A rights according to federal law, regardless of local legality.

Only if you tell them...

 

[Booze Daily]

I think that’s only if you get a medical marijuana card. Otherwise how would anyone know?

 

[snowman]

Bear in mind that if you do that, you're permanently surrendering your 2A rights according to federal law, regardless of local legality.

This county has more recreational dispensaries and gun shops than grocery stores by at least a factor of three.

And I'm in a predominantly conservative county.

So unless you do something absolutely stupid to draw attention to your "surrender", you have no concerns.

 

[boosted]

Apparently your emotional development is arrested at about the time somebody starts doing drugs, so if you stared smoking pot etc at 13, you'll never be emotionally older than 13.

Most of us know somebody like this - I think there's some validity for sure. However, my understanding is that stunted emotional growth is more closely related to major (emotional) trauma. I think that folks who start drinking or smoking early are often experiencing some additional trauma in the home. It's not the pot; it's the mental state of a 13 year old who has the drive (and the ability) to engage in frequent substance abuse.

It's not like you break a part of your brain the first time it's exposed to THC. Plenty of folks can partake in moderation and be just fine.

 

[jccaclimber]

Never smoked anything myself, and I can count the number of drinks in the past decade on one hand (and in my entire life if I get to use my toes), but the assumptions here are interesting. I’ve known a few useless people who do drugs, but I’ve known far more who smoke pot in moderation and are fully functioning adults.
I don’t disagree that there is some causation and correlation, but it’s not the certainty many here seem to believe.

 

[Trueturning]

I've tried. It works to get me to sleep, it works to keep me asleep.

One, It slows my memory recall to a point where the day after I can tell that I smoked. It's embarrassing to talk to clients and stumble over words that are normally part of my vocabulary. They may not know why, but I do.

Two, I am less emotionally present for my family.

Finally, I get rebound anxiety. The next day, all the anxiety that was held at bay seems to hit me, as well as any anxiety from that day.

I really blame most of it on Covid. We all sat at home (or work) getting on without a majority of the stress we normally have. We all got this taste of something that had a little more reward with a little less investment of energy. I ate home cooked meals, I cooked with my wife, I hung out with my daughter, etc etc etc...and I did it all on less money. Then I went back to work where people seemed meaner, more selfish, and less patient. Because of workload, my diet returned to fast food or takeout. My interactions with my daughter are after school, between sleepovers or practices, and we are both exhausted. Now on top of that, my money isn't going as far.

Pretty sad really

That is really true. Times are exhausting everyone. Five million lost their jobs straight up at the early months of the Covid. Some just took early retirement and were fed up. Boomers have tipped into retirement now and the last bunch will likely drop out of working largely. They will drastically cut their expenses and find smaller dwellings and whatever they can cut.


Yes the Covid has effected everyone in challenging ways. Kids in schools struggle. The remote learning was problematic and parental involvement was needed. It is very very easy for any child to fall behind that way and sting in on a few sessions I see where they would fall behind anyway depending on the teacher.

Some say that Yoga and perhaps therapeutic Tai Chi are fantastic. I have just recently gotten melatonin for sleep. I wake at the same time each day usually. If get 6 hours that is good sometimes it may be as low as four. I will nap a bit during the day.

Last year I was given a medication which had a benzo in it for sleep. It worked yet that stuff has been bad for anxiety and it requires more to work. It does work well for a bit and then more is needed and then it is cut back or cut off which after going through that I avoided the sleep prescription having the benzo in it. I stopped after five days. I did take one or two Iregularly the next 6 months and stopped with three left. I threw them away.

I found if a marriage has gone bad or there are deaths in the family or someone is very sick then it can get to be too much stress for many different people.

Using anxiety medications can be very dangerous. They as with anything must be monitored closely and honestly. Alcohol overall is turned to in many parts of the world during hard times.

Troubles can make things like that a problem if people are not careful.

 

[doug925]

Well, I am back.
My wife and I just returned. I feel refreshed, and am not sweating the BS. (An ex-employee came by, and backed into the building. Put a hole right in the wall!)

We spent:
1 day in Carlsbad
5 days in Angel Fire (Red River, Cimarron, Eagle's Nest)
3 days in Ruidoso, before the McBride fire ran us out of town
3 days in Las Cruces

I even got to cross 'panning for gold' off my bucket list. And, I actually found some! (microscopic though they are)

This is my plan:
Find a professional to talk to. (I carry around a LOT of anger and anxiety)
Play worker bee for a few months. 8-10 hrs a day, MAX.
Completely disengage from work once I leave for the day.
Reevaluate my plan and bank accounts in 3 months time.

Thanks to all who took the time to read and reply!

Doug.


(Hiking the Cedar Creek Loop @ 7300' Ruidoso, N.M.)

 

[ChipSplitter]

<snip> (I carry around a LOT of anger and anxiety) <snip>

I know religion is "officially" verboten here, but........it DOES make a difference. In fact, it can change your life. For me, a Christianity that doesn't radically change the way I respond and think isn't worth having.

Just my $0.02

 

[doug925]

Sounds great! Glad you got out and lived a little (I'm jealous!).

When you get a second, let us know what you did in Las Cruses. I was out there five or so times (80's - 90's) for testing equipment at White Sands Missile Range that was going up on Shuttle/Spacelab missions, really liked the area.

White Sands.... I know it well. We took our engagement photos there. (About 2 months after our wedding...LOL)

My Mom lives in Las Cruces, so we get out there often.
It is typically a jump off point for other destinations in N.M.

While there we hike Soledad Canyon, Dripping Springs, and other trails.
White Sands

SoleDad Canyon

Gila Cliff Dwellings

 

[CITIZEN F16]

Apparently your emotional development is arrested at about the time somebody starts doing drugs, so if you stared smoking pot etc at 13, you'll never be emotionally older than 13.

I seriously think he went backward, at 12 when he would come to visit he was always looking for chores to earn extra spending money. Fast forward to three stints with me between 16 and 18. His mother put him on a bus, he obviously had become unfocused and lazy. I figured the first thing to try was piece work on stuff a monkey could do after he sucked down a 12 pack. Deburring parts, painting parts, cleaning, packing, general clean up, etc. I just paid him cash until I was sure he was going to make it.

To really dangle the carrot I based his piece rate on what I could do paying myself $30 an hour at 3/4 speed. I hauled ass and took 75% of that rate. If someone offered that deal I would have finished a job as fast as I could and asked what's next. I would have drained my uncle's wallet in no time. Since everything he earned was free and clear since I was putting him up and feeding him he was satisfied at making $50-$60 a day. I had plenty of work and was running myself ragged to keep up. He could have made $1500 a week cash at 16! He was more than happy with $300-$400, the rest of the time he was on his phone or eating me out of house and home. After he had a decent bankroll he would make up what I found out later were lies to go back home. I knew he lied a lot but I figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt. He was a High School dropout and not going back. Once he was broke he would say all his business at home was done and he wanted to come back.

After this behavior repeated twice and he turned 18 I was done with him. Three strikes and you are out. It was later found out he was going home to party, there were no court dates, probation officer appointments, or ex girlfriends that might be pregnant. I also found evidence he was using drugs at my home and his mother asked if I had solvents around, she said he was also probably huffing when he was at my place.

So sad, 12 year old straight A student. My best friend had a straight a student daughter the same age. We had them married off and him taking over my business. Half the story turned out good my friend's daughter got straight A's
in college and is a Christian who lives a clean life. My family member did a long stint in state prison.