My wife doesn't understand why I don't flush the toilet,
Anyone want to hear a story.. Its either that or I have to go do actual work..
When I was in my early 20's, I was drinking beers in the basement of a friends
house, he had just got out of the marines and was living with his folks..
It was 4am, and his folks had to work in the morning, and the only bathroom
in the house was right next to his parents bedroom, so we just popped the hatch
way and wizzed in the back yard..
So I'm standing out there doing my environmental duty and watering a tree, and his
Dad comes out.. SCREAMING AND HOLLERING.. Something about a barn yard, and
did my parents
teach me to pee outside when I was growing up..
So, I'm standing there watering the tree, and thinking.. This is strange.. Growing up,
I got yelled at for peeing inside the house when it wasn't freezing or raining..
Septic tank, leach field and all... I didn't tell him that, but we did spend the
rest of the night using the inside bathroom, and making as much noise as humanly possible.
-------------------------------
On the septic tank/leach field.. Its free, if you have a shovel..
I think it was 3 times that my Dad and I dug the septic tank out by hand and did a
bunch of work on the leach field.. Of course the house was built by an old Italian
dude in the 20's.. Nothing was ever new (including the wood), nothing straight, nothing
square.. Plumbing was a hodge podge, insulation was newpapers and old dirty underwear..
And of course the septic tank. It wasn't a whole tank. The first chamber was complete,
but the second was missing a wall and a half, which were made up with stacked rocks..
Single sheet of rusted steel on the top..
So, yes, it collapsed, and yes, we had to dig it by hand (its pretty fricken gross, and you will
kill a set of hip wader), and
then get in and cement up all of the rock walls solid again.. Run new lines down to the
leach field, which sort of worked sometimes (my Dad had it put in new in '79 or so), but the
natural springs in the leach field.. NEVER pass a perk test, EVER.. So everything had to
be done on the sly...
---------------
When I was 3 or 4, and we had just moved in, my dad called to have the tank pumped.. And
the guys hose clogged, so he pulled it up.. And there is a skull stuck to the end.. I
remember seeing the skull. But apparently the shit truck guy turned pale white and said
"I think I need to call the police".. Apparently the old italian guy just dumped all
his pig guts and bones in the septic tank.. It wasn't the only skull...
----
Cost.. Wouldn't care, as long as I don't have to jump into a septic tank again.