OT: Laws to Live BY

im working a piddley job waiting for the insurance jobs to open up this year and there is posted on the wall.

"Laws Not on the Books Yet"

Murphey's Law
nothing is as easy as it looks.
everything takes longer than you expect.
if anything can go wrong it will and at the worst possible time.

Wielder's Law
nothing is impossible for the person who doesnt have to do it.

Finagle's Law
once a job is fouled up anything done to improve it makes it worse.

Chisolm's Law
anytime things appear to be going better you have overlooked something.

Domsin's Law
the specialist learns more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing.
the generalist learns less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything.

Gumperson's Law
the possibility of anything happening is in inverse proportion to its desireability.

Douglas's Law
clutter tends to expand to fill the space available for its retention.

Zimmerman's Law
regardless if a mission expands or contracts administrative overhead continues to grow at a steady pace.

Man's Law
no matter what happens there is always someone who knew it would.

Drakes Paradox.
the longer a supervisor is off the bench the faster and more efficent he becomes.

Douglas' Law is the defination of this shop i'm at, clutter clutter everywhere.

did i miss any or do y'all have any ive not heard of yet...jim

Jerks law.
A jerk is a jerk and there ain't anything you can do about it.

Best's law.
You may think you're the tops, but we know better.

Top job law.
Don't worry boss, I've ****ed up better jobs than this.

Deliverers law.
You want it WHEN?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. You cannot win, you cannot break even, you cannot get out of the game.

2. It will not work.

Radarmans' Law:

If you can keep a level head in all this confusion, you just don't under stand the situation.

Callahan's law

Junk is the thing you kept for three years, threw away last week, and just had to go buy a new one to get a job done.

Paines' Law:
Even the tiniest of metal chips has the power to bring a grown man to his knees.

Cash's law:
The fastest way to find a lost tool is to buy a replacement.

Toms Rule:
The first guy that says he didn't do it, Did.

Customer Rule:
If we changed the oil, and the tire went flat on the way home, its our fault.

You can't fix "stupid."

Peters Principle: Everything will be raised to its level of incompetence.