In no particular order ;-
Marble down a drainpipe = loose fit
Gnats cock = a very small measurement
Kick bollock and bite = hard work or heavy going
Nurgle = a tricky or awkward operation or feature
Thrutch = hit something hard
Make it have it = push a tool or job harder
Flat as a witches tit = smooth and even
Like a babies bum = '' ''
Fart in a force nine = pathetic or poor effort
Who wrote your script? = you're talking rubbish
Knocked the bollocks out of that = job done quickly
Piece of piss = easy
Drunk as a fiddlers bitch = run out, wobble, out of square / plumb / true etc
F'd before you start = bad job - don't touch it
Been round the block a few times = you've experience and a good idea of what you're doing
Pulled a stroke on that one = got away with something ''not in the book''
Short rule = not enough material for the job
Eager beaver = someone who rushes in to a job without thinking it through
We know we're good, but we ain't that lucky = a very awkward if not impossible job - please go away and think about it
Any fear of = please may I have a XXXX
Bubble = tea or coffee
Smashed monkey = corned beef in your sandwich
Cackleberry = egg in your sandwich
Monkey spunk = any cutting oil or lube.
Gorrilla snot = silicone instant gasket
Understrapper = foreman, charge hand etc - above you but not the boss
Boss lady = the secretary etc that makes up your wages - definitely a VIP!
Martian = computer / electronics ''specialist''
Like a one armed paperhanger = rushed off your feet
Greased weasel = fast
Spud through = drill a through hole
Spud in = drill a blind hole
