Ot good one liners to use on customers.

alonzo83 · Sep 15, 2014

This only applies to customers I know frequent the shop that I know have a good sense of humor.

Frank walked in with one of his employees
Boss! He's back and brought a witness . . . Must be scared of getting beat up!

Franks starts talking to the boss while I am running the lathe, pulls a broken part out of his pocket and asks boss to make it.

I turn the lathe off long enough to put on a greasy car salesman voice and look over my shoulder to say, "awww, that looks expensive", turned the lathe back on and kept working.

This one used on me

B.S.ing with customer, I needed to get back to work, politely said, "well frank nice talking with you but I need to get to work".

Franks response, that'll be something new for ya!

Any good ones your willing to share?

oldbikerdude37 · Sep 16, 2014

...hydraulic cylinder covered in dirt and oil "I see you cleaned it up for me"

..."Today has been terrible, Im going to make up all my losses on your job"

... customer bitches about the bill " Have it for free just dont ever come back!"

...customer wants job not done yet and whines...." Take it its done right now!"

... Shaft worn almost in two...." why did you take it out there is still a little left"

...customer" it will only take 5 minutes"...." You do it then!"

atomarc · Sep 16, 2014

I came in late...can I leave early to make up for it?

Stuart

egpace · Sep 16, 2014

Customers always love this...

It's a 10 minute job, should take about a half an hour.

rustyclockwork · Sep 16, 2014

Customer - "Can you do this? How much? Can I have it by Christmas?"

Me (my favorite line) - "Yes Sir, you can have it done good, you can get it fast, and you have it done cheap... but 'ya have to pick two."

Customer - ... ... "ok... oh.. I get it, that's good! Thank you!"

Me - "now what was I doing before that bloke called?"

adama · Sep 16, 2014

Customer walks in to collect repaired item, after not haveing paid for the last repair some 6 months ago, promises to come back with the money.

Boss is busy, so i just cooly reply sure what ever. Customer walks up to item sitting on bench and trys to pick it up. What do you know some idiot must have missed and welded it to the bench :-) I red illy agree and promise to correct my silly error when he returns later to pay and will help him load it :-)

Customer returns a bit later with cash for this and last time and what do you know that welds just dissolved away :-)

Limy Sami · Sep 16, 2014

Potential customer walks in with a print demanding 'How much for 50 of these?'

Boss 'You can't afford it.'

NeilJ · Sep 16, 2014

"The service here is second to none. There's none...... and then there's you."

jamscal · Sep 16, 2014

Customer wanting something made cheaply, out of some scrap laying around:

"It's not scrap if you can use it"

timvercoe · Sep 16, 2014

"how soon do you need it"

Customer "yesterday"

"Ok, I can work on the time machine or I can work on your part, which would you prefer?"

Tim

ernieflash · Sep 16, 2014

Guy brings in a excavator bucket link worn to a two inch oval I ask "TOO much Grease?".He says I grease it every day. UH HUH ...

Scruffy887 · Sep 16, 2014

I'll make it perfect even if it takes YOUR last dime.

Greg White · Sep 16, 2014

"we maybe slow but we are not accurate,that whats important.
Gw

Thomas Paine · Sep 16, 2014

Q: How long will it take?
A: How long is a piece of string?

get ready for the confused face.

egpace · Sep 16, 2014

When a customer has an unreasonable request I send them to see miss Waite.

When they say who?

I tell them "Go to Helen Wait"

Long Tom · Sep 16, 2014

When discussing the efficiency and lesser cost of doing a needed number of parts all in one run:

"It's better to bob the dog's tail all at once!"

egpace · Sep 16, 2014

When a so called "friend" stops by for a freebie I do a twist on the old Miller beer Jingle...

"If you've got the beer, we've got the time"

roll-a-leblond · Sep 16, 2014

My favorite is seeing the joy on a customers face when they see the fed up pos they bright me to fix is better than new!!!!

That's when I say" I haven't told u how much it costs yet!" U should see the smiles melt away :Ithankyou:

HuFlungDung · Sep 16, 2014

Customer brings in a dirty dusty flywheel (nearly always the way it is). Me: "Thanks for not disturbing any of the filth on there, it's important that I see it, exactly as it was."

TTordanato · Sep 16, 2014

Customer asking how long it will be for the 2 parts they wanted to be done.

"I'm already working on the 2nd! I broke the other one."

Ot good one liners to use on customers.

Stainless

Titanium

Diamond

Hot Rolled

Aluminum

Diamond

Diamond

Aluminum

Stainless

Hot Rolled

Cast Iron

Titanium

Titanium

Hot Rolled

Hot Rolled

Stainless

Hot Rolled

Cast Iron

Diamond

Plastic

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