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Ot: has everyone just learned to not give technical advice?

Trboatworks

Diamond
Joined
Oct 23, 2010
Location
Maryland- USA
There is that old saw- “Don’t give advice unless you are paid for it”..

So a friend is asking me about some technical gear he has no clue about and ends up ignoring the advice and taking the lead from a combination of YouTube videos and retailers who are trying to sell them stuff.

This sort of gets my goat- Am I again being a grumpy old bastard or is this about how it goes- you take some time to set someone up with the right answers and they just run with BS they find on the net.
(This is a area where I know my stuff and know they are getting poor advice).

Ok - Rant over but seriously it sort of puts me out.
You guys just keep your traps shut and let people roll unless they show up to hire you?
 
"You can lead a jack-ass to water but you cannot make him drink."

It has happened to me, too. I don't like to be a "I told you so" kind of person but it can give them a reality check sometimes........:rolleyes5:
 
My buddy wanted me to go to Home Depot to get stuff to tile his bathroom. We was gathering the stuff he needed when a store employee “expert” showed up and told him what “he” needed. Then it was my fault when he got home and it wouldn’t fit.
 
I find if someone respects your expertise, they tend to follow your advise. Do they know that you know what your talking about? If they do and still choose to ignore it, you know not to waste your time trying to help them. Generally, I'm a big believer in karma / pay it forward. I've had help from unexpected sources over the years so don't mind sharing when asked. With paying customers, giving advice (even if its to go elsewhere to get something don I can't do), usually will pay off in the end.
 
Sometimes it better to just “agree” with them and let them do it the hard way, apically when you tell them how to do something and they want to argue.
 
Most people who ask advice seem to want you to confirm that what they have already decided to do is the right way to go about the job.
 
a lot of times, it helps understand the actual problem if you just tack "For Free" onto the end of the question. So it's not that they don't appreciate or respect your advice, they just don't want to spend any money.

For instance, a question such as, "How would I bore a 2" dia hole in 4140HT"? might result in a couple pages of advice. However, the real question should have been written, "How would I bore a 2" dia hole in 4140HT, for free"? That's what the op really wants to know
 
a lot of times, it helps understand the actual problem if you just tack "For Free" onto the end of the question. So it's not that they don't appreciate or respect your advice, they just don't want to spend any money.

For instance, a question such as, "How would I bore a 2" dia hole in 4140HT"? might result in a couple pages of advice. However, the real question should have been written, "How would I bore a 2" dia hole in 4140HT, for free"? That's what the op really wants to know


LOL, so true.
 
What gets me is when you try to help and predict the inevitable out come, you are told you know nothing, then when whatever you warned them about happens it's your fault and get dragged in front of the boss. I have found email communications come in handy for that one.
 
This really speaks of the basic human instinct to take the easy way out.

I'm always asked for advice because I 'know how to fix stuff'.

But I've come to understand people don't want to hear what you tell them....they want to hear what they were hoping you'd say. Hence, they become an askhole.


What I say:
"Your car battery is dead and a new one costs $150? Well...buy a new one."

What they want hear:
"Your car battery is dead and a new one costs $150? Bullshit! That's for bastards, and you're no bastard - you're special. Go pour some Coke over the terminals, let it sit for 15 minutes, then twist each post a bit. It'll be good as new for at least 15 more years. There's free Coke in my fridge, help yourself, special buddy!"
 
I had a friend like that and I ended up right every time. He was restoring a 1974 Corvette at a snail's pace and not doing a very good job on what he did not farm out. It was camped in my garage for a while he worked on it. He would go to his online Corvette form buddies and get a plethora of bad information. When what he bought did not fit he would eventually come back to me. A lot of it was over thread sizes. He often was nailed when his internet buddies told him something was a pipe thread and I told him it was a straight thread. He would then proceed to install the pipe threaded fitting and butcher the mating part.

I think with him he was always trying to catch me being wrong as at the time I had known him 25 years, there wasn't one thing I wasn't at least one notch better than him at.
 
a lot of times, it helps understand the actual problem if you just tack "For Free" onto the end of the question.

That is perfect, I am going to start using that now. This explains perfectly why I dont do residential and small commercial work anymore.

This is also why I do favors for people expecting that 100% of the time they will never help me out. So I am way more cautious.



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or you give good advice about something, like side-wheel- grinding, with disclaimers about how to do it safer or not do it until you are a well-seasoned grinder hand...And somebody does it with little care and blame you/Me for the accident...
In my grinding book it is with all the warnings and techniques.
 
My buddy wanted me to go to Home Depot to get stuff to tile his bathroom. We was gathering the stuff he needed when a store employee “expert” showed up and told him what “he” needed. Then it was my fault when he got home and it wouldn’t fit.

I think when it comes to Home Depot and Lowe's the guys working the electrical department are some of the worst.
 
I see it a different way.

Of course it hurts when someone rejects you by going contrary to your sage advice. You would like to be the one to "help them". Be a mentor and "big brother" . Your "image" is on the line. It is significant that our "advice" is given from our own position. But consider, our offered advice often rejects the asking parties own considerations. Rejection is a two way street.

People need the responsibility to decide for themselves, to make their own way. There is pride to be had in doing so, and that is good.

I'm sure the other person considered your advice along with all the other considerations they had made.
They choose differently than you . Celebrate! There is a reason that options are available.

How many of us have bought the wrong tool based on some justification, only to then get the right tool in order to complete the task. Happens all the time. Harbor Freight is testimony to how common that is.

Wisdom comes from experience, experience comes from making choices, some are mistakes, some are not.
 








 
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