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  1. #1
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    Default OT Stuff apprentices do

    I asked a new apprentice to get me a 10-32 screw to check a thread with. He came back with a 5/16 screw. I told him that wasn't right, but he insisted it was, he had just reduced the fraction 10/32 to 5/16.

    Needed to clean a file, told the apprentice to get me a file card, he came back with a 3 by 5 index card.

    Not counting the metal stretcher and aluminum magnet gag, what can you add to the collection?

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    Quote Originally Posted by RJT View Post
    I asked a new apprentice to get me a 10-32 screw to check a thread with. He came back with a 5/16 screw. I told him that wasn't right, but he insisted it was, he had just reduced the fraction 10/32 to 5/16.

    Needed to clean a file, told the apprentice to get me a file card, he came back with a 3 by 5 index card.

    Not counting the metal stretcher and aluminum magnet gag, what can you add to the collection?
    Bwhahaha @ the 5/16 screw...

    Probably not as funny, or maybe moronic...?... but when I was apprentice I thought you drilled a 1/4" (sub any size here) hole for a 1/4" reamer...

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    Send him to one of the others to get a 'long weight'


    See how long of a wait he gets

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    I have a friend who says when he was doing aircraft maintenance they'd sent the apprentice out for 100 feet of flight line or a bucket of prop wash.

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    And was told in the tool design office that a new guy years back was drawing something 2X scale and asked if that meant he doubled the angles as well.

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    Gotta give him credit for actually using his head, he just doesn't know any better at this point in time. What's encouraging is that he knows fractions and how to reduce them.

    My boss, who was my neighbor at the time, tried to get me with the aluminum magnet trick. My Dad had gotten me years before with that so I knew he was messing with me. I remembered there was a magnet glued onto a small round drop of aluminum (never found out why they had this) in the assembly area. I brought it to the boss and told him I found his "Aluminum Magnet" and walked out. I felt like I won that battle.

    You could always ask the apprentice to go get a bucket of steam to mop the floor when you clean up at the end of the week. I fell for that one when I first started. They sent me to ask the oldest, grizzliest, most intimidating guy in the shop for that one. I was 17 and terrified talking to this guy, thought he was gonna put his cigarette out on my forehead. I avoided him for years I was so scared of him but eventually earned his respect and we became friends. Sad to say he passed earlier this year, RIP Timmy.

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    send him up to the hardware store to get a can of lathe compound.

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    If you tap threads from below instead of from the top, you'll get left hand threads.

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  12. #9
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    Not a machine shop but on a rubber press line we used rags and towels to clean up a hydraulic oil leak. It was a warm summer day and I jokingly told a press operator to hang them on the fence to dry. He actually did it.

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    Gave an apprentice a dull LH drill, didnt tell him it was LH and asked him to sharpen it for a job he was doing.
    Be darned if he could figure it out.

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    Seen on TV: "Shake this can of spray paint until it stops rattling."

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    "I ground it twice and It's still too small".
    Drilling on a B-port in low gear and forward. "I'm chewing up the drill bit in one hole".

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    Sending the newbie for a left-handed ball-pein hammer....

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    Quote Originally Posted by RJT View Post
    I asked a new apprentice to get me a 10-32 screw to check a thread with. He came back with a 5/16 screw. I told him that wasn't right, but he insisted it was, he had just reduced the fraction 10/32 to 5/16.

    Needed to clean a file, told the apprentice to get me a file card, he came back with a 3 by 5 index card.

    Not counting the metal stretcher and aluminum magnet gag, what can you add to the collection?
    Failure of the apprentice's knowledge falls directly upon you.
    If you don't teach them, how do you expect them to learn ?

    And what's with the tricks and pranks ?

    Do you want your apprentice doubting what you teach them even more ?
    All these lies, are just hurting your credibility.

    "We need more qualified machinists" Yup, makes the young people really want
    to go into this career with all the people trying to trip them up, and making fun of their lack of knowledge.

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    I may have cited this before - apologies if I have,

    before I was born at the builder in the village joinery shop, where the apprentice / shop boy that was sent by one of the craftsmen up to the local plant nursery with (in old money) half a crown (2/6) for a tray of wire netting plants, returned with a tray of cabbage plants chirping ''Mr X at the Nursery said these were the best'' etc etc and gave him 3d change ………….to of course much hilarity and the guy being down 2/3

    Said craftsman did not know Mr X at the nursery was the lads great uncle

    Moral of tale - if you want an idiot in the countryside - take one with you.

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  23. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by gustafson View Post
    Send him to one of the others to get a 'long weight'


    See how long of a wait he gets
    A long stand was always a popular one here.

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    No one can match the stupidity and lack of common sense of my nephew who now resides in the Idaho Penitentiary. I hired him to do part time work and help me move across country. I had a friend who lived with me who I was helping move also, he had some auto parts stored in my garage. Anyway, when my nephew was helping pack the guys stuff he put a car battery, the kind that requires maintenance upside down in a cardboard box. He then put it in the carpeted cargo area of my SUV. Of course the acid destroyed a couple square feet of carpet. The kid had the common sense of a rock. Even if you don't know a car battery is full of acid a person with a brain packs something orientated how it is found. The sad thing when he was 12 he was a nice, bright, honor roll student, as a teenager he evolved into a heavy drug user and I think it fried his brain. I don't think there wasn't anything he hadn't tried. He was 18 when I last saw him, he has to be the dumbest person I knew that wasn't diagnosed with any learning disabilities.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tonymor View Post
    A long stand was always a popular one here.
    If you're going to try to pull that one, make sure that you don't have multiple lengths of sawhorses.

  26. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by RJT View Post
    Not counting the metal stretcher and aluminum magnet gag, what can you add to the collection?
    Well kind of related to this, we once convinced this druggie burnout that worked with us that a magnetic base protractor was a magnetic hardness tester. It wasn't until later in the day that when he was attempting to see how hard his arm was that he figured it out.

  27. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by CAMasochism View Post
    Well kind of related to this, we once convinced this druggie burnout that worked with us that a magnetic base protractor was a magnetic hardness tester. It wasn't until later in the day that when he was attempting to see how hard his arm was that he figured it out.
    Probably just as well you didn't find him trying to find out how hard some other body part would get.

    Tell you what, you can just keep that magnetic base protractor.


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