Saying Goodbye to an Old fried
Close
Login to Your Account
Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Cottage Grove, MN 55016
    Posts
    7,515
    Post Thanks / Like
    Likes (Given)
    4066
    Likes (Received)
    4493

    Default Saying Goodbye to an Old fried

    I hope this is OK and The OK forum as it is interesting to me...

    I just wrote an old friend this morning who is in poor health a thank you letter. The letter was based on something I leaned from another old time friend.

    When my Mom was in hospice care 10 plus years ago, an old friend told me to say good bye to her when she was still alive. Also if there was anything that was on my conscience I should get it off my chest before she passed. I had always felt bad after she gave me a ratchet round ball head screw driver when I was maybe 15 for my Birthday Present...I opened it and said "what the heck this and laughed"...I looked at her and could see it broke her heart...she felt bad....that haunted me for years..and when she was on her death bed I apologized to her...she remembered it too and said not to worry as it was a life lesson. I also thanked her for being such a wonderful Mom and I would love her forever and ever..hugged and kissed her... I suppose you could go over board if you did something terrible.. but luckily I hadn't. She had cancer and suffered for weeks in hospice care, so we had a lot to talk about....I visited her daily as my family and i stayed close at the end.

    An old friend told me to do that and I am glad he did..as it lifted a great burden back then and again I had the same feeling today.

    My old friend has been having some health issues and is 87....so the good Lord will probably be taking him home soon... I have never been the most religious person, but to some it is a important part in their life as it was in my moms. Now the guy I wrote today is an atheist...ha ha...so I had to skirt the subject..but he knows I believe and I teased the subject a little...I am sure he will get a smile on his face...and I pray he see's the light a little.

    I know this doesn't have a lot to do with machine tools, but it is part of our life. He is a retired Engineer with lots of toys. I told him to give his son my name and number so after he passes and his estate needs some help on what the scraping equipment is worth, it would be my honor to help out. I also told him I loved to hear his stories he told me about my Dad who he knew as a friend. Also all the help he has given me over the years...

    Hopefully this will help some of you who have become part of my family and friends when this same situation happens to you.

    Happy new Year. Rich

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    detroit, mi
    Posts
    1,463
    Post Thanks / Like
    Likes (Given)
    373
    Likes (Received)
    50

    Default

    Richard, that was nicely written and good advice to folks that have not gone through that experience yet. I just lost my Dad to Alzheimers after quite a long journey through that disease and it is tough sometimes to convey the comfort that it can bring to do what you did with your mom.

    Also one can find its never to early to start the conversation. I lost a great friend about a year ago that was the same age as me at the time (56) to a massive heart attack while we were sharing Christmas cookies and BS at the shop right after Christmas and there were more than a few things I'm sure we figured we'd get to say at some later date but didn't get the chance.

    Stay up to date on appreciating friends and loved ones it is well worth the time and effort.

    Regards, Doug

  3. Likes Davis In SC, Derek Smalls liked this post
  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Montville Ohio
    Posts
    133
    Post Thanks / Like
    Likes (Given)
    165
    Likes (Received)
    40

    Default

    June 13 last year marked 10 years, my dad has been gone. We worked on, and restored Chevys and John Deere equipment. Being a dumb kid I never asked questions. When a part needed to be made, he would make it. I never asked what was involved, or how did you figure that out?

    I was raised around old people. I think that spurred my interest in old items. Antiques to old iron, I was always surrounded by. I loved every moment and still do. I wish I would have asked questions. Everyday so much is lost because nobody wrote down information.

    We are all quilty of this. Next time, tomorrow, next week, we all say we will do something. I wish I would have listened more and wrote down alot. Not just with my dad, but with all the other old timers I grew up around. I do think 60 years ago people had better respect for taking time to talk and learn. I know I wish I had more time. But its to late. So, try to take time to learn or thank a old friend. Because tomorrow might just be to late.
    Last edited by antique lathe; 02-05-2015 at 05:03 AM.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Coventry RI
    Posts
    1,119
    Post Thanks / Like
    Likes (Given)
    1329
    Likes (Received)
    891

    Default

    Some good thoughts from all of you gentlemen. I'm sorry to hear of your losses.
    Frank

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Warren, Ohio
    Posts
    425
    Post Thanks / Like
    Likes (Given)
    220
    Likes (Received)
    466

    Default

    My dad died when I was 23. I was going to visit with him before I left to go on an overseas job. I ran out of time. I had a fax waiting for me in Maylaysa, he had died unexpectedly. Sucked bad. Too many things unsaid.

    A little more than a year ago my mentor died, unexpectedly. A few days before, he gave me a compliment. This was very rare. He could be impressed (and you knew it), but compliments came every 5 years or so. We ended up having a chat that was far more serious, about fellings and stuff. At the end we both said what was on our mind, what we meant to each other, etc. Then he called me a fag and asked if I had been having butt sex. Old school, I guess.

    Needless to say, I agree with the op, just not so eloquently.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Arizona USA
    Posts
    634
    Post Thanks / Like
    Likes (Given)
    611
    Likes (Received)
    182

    Default

    When my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and then later brain cancer, I too said my apologies for being and insensitive child, and any failures as an adult, her response was "Timmy ..........no....." Also important for me at that time was to continually asking myself "is there anything that I am doing now that I will later regret?" "Is there anything that I am not doing now that I will later regret?" I think it helped me stay clear with what was really important. I think that time I spent with my mother helped me when my ex-wife asked me to care for her while she was being treated for brain cancer and soon after her diagnosis died. Tough stuff..........

    Tim

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    SF Bay
    Posts
    359
    Post Thanks / Like
    Likes (Given)
    49
    Likes (Received)
    206

    Default

    What he said so well.

    I lost my dad when I was 18. Taught me a great many things. Among them: say it now. If you've got any warning, (it was cancer) do everything you can, everything you think of. That way in the years to come, you won't have any '"shoulda's" to kick yourself with.

    I've also got a deal going with a buddy of mine: if either of us buys the farm unexpectedly, the other will help the widow price/deal with the gear. Think of this early, and make sure she doesn't end up holding the (very heavy) bag. I've lost track of the number of estate sales I've been to where the widow/kids had *no* clue what the gear was, or what it was worth. I've helped out with pricing on some of them when I just couldn't sit there and watch.

    He and I also have another side deal: if either of us buys it because we were *stupid*, the other will add "here lies an idiot" to the gravestone. That thought has kept me from doing any one of a number of really dumb things over the years.

    FWIW,
    Brian

  9. Likes wheels17 liked this post

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •