Classic moments in Chinglish

PeteM · Jan 30, 2010

As the somewhat embarrased owner of a now five year old square column mill drill, I had the occasion to actually read the manual when one of the (it turns out) half engaged gears managed to strip. Good news is that I might be able to get a replacement, despite the incomplete correspondence between the parts diagram and what's actually inside my gear head. If worse comes to worse, it's time to cut a new module 2 gear.

Anyhow, this description seemed somehow too good not to pass along. Under the main heading "Schlepping and Installation":

(1) Please adhibit well-suited methods to schlep, which avoid damnify the machine.

I'm pretty sure I managed to damnify the machine.

N2IXK · Jan 30, 2010

Schlepping? Sounds like some Yiddish got mixed in with the Chinglish...

hesstool · Jan 30, 2010

And what was your Engese message in return? I doubt you could do any better in their language...

PeteM · Jan 30, 2010

I agree about the issue of language skills. I certainly managed to more than schlep, adhibit, and damnify myself in my pitiful attempts to speak a little Chinese in China last year.

But then, again, I wasn't a professional translator attempting to document products for sale overseas. What struck me as humorous was the mix of sources -- how did anyone manage to learn schlepping along with fire and brimstone damnification?

Toms Wheels · Jan 30, 2010

A friend of mine was drafted into the german army at the ripe age of 15, captured at the end of the war, he was placed in a american POW camp. Where he learn a bit of english.

After release he got a job as a translator of instruction manuals, cameras, radios etc. Since he had no training in english, just what he picked up, when stumped by a word or phrase he couldn't figure out he just made one up, and they printed the manual that way.

Tom1 · Jan 31, 2010

The all time best thing I ever read was "for best results do not open box"

Kinda says it all, its so deep, it only works in your mind, not in reality, is there anything really in the box? Kinda like a Schrödinger's Cat idea...

I dont recall what it even was anymore, I had kept the side of the box in my office for years...

PeteM · Jan 31, 2010

Tom1 said:
The all time best thing I ever read was "for best results do not open box"

That's perfect -- pretty sure I've owned several products where that advice would fit!

Someone should do a book along the lines of "lost in translation." Perhaps Rumin can chime in with some Englese - translations gone wrong the other way.

Mebfab · Jan 31, 2010

Two I have seen

1 Home use only (tools)

2, do not operate in bath or shower (coffee maker)

motion guru · Jan 31, 2010

There are quite a number of bearings and seals sold out of china for specific use in the trailer axle / wheel market and all of their part #'s mimic Chicago Rawhide and Timken part numbers with the exception that every part number starts with the three letters . . . i.e. P.O.S. ########

Someone in the part numbering department had a good laugh at that one I imagine.

MarcoBernardini · Jan 31, 2010

"Press and hold down the button for at least 3 secretary, until the indicator appears"
(from a camera timer manual)

Greg Quenneville · Jan 31, 2010

I had an illustration of a German-made vee belt which was marked
"Do Not Crimp-Nicht Krimpen"

The caption on the photo said "Do not crimp the night chicken"

Good advice no matter where you are.

USMCPOP · Jan 31, 2010

Back in the old IBM XT clone days, there was an outfit in NJ named the "Chinese Motherboard Factory". Somewhere in their manual it said "Customer right even when he wrong because everyone entitled to bad day."

tooltrader1975 · Jan 31, 2010

Chilglish

I am still laughing over the word "Chinglish"

bhigdog · Jan 31, 2010

Not exactly an instruction, but part of a warrentee, in fact the only warantee was this liability protecting statement.........

" we warrent that this product is not fit for any purpose whatsoever"

Rumin · Jan 31, 2010

PeteM said:
Perhaps Rumin can chime in with some Englese - translations gone wrong the other way.

I'm coming.

Wrong translation shouldn't be called Chinglish. Chinglish means Chinese use English while thinking in Chinese ways. Wrong words you mentioned above, such as Schlepping (shipment), damnify (damage) etc., have nothing to do with Chinglish, which just show that the translator didn't learn English well.

There has been a German Guy who claimed he "loved" Chinglish very much. He said he had seen a lot of emotional English signs and notices in China. He has been collecting them for building a "Chinglish museum".

Please read this:

Chinese office girl：Hello.

American guest: Hi.

Chinese office girl：You have what thing？ (What can I do for you?)

American guest: Can you speak english？

Chinese office girl：If I not speak english, I am speaking what？(I'm speaking Engiish. What do you think of it?)

American guest: Can anybody else speak english？

Chinese office girl：You yourself look. All people are playing, no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go！(Please Look, everyone is busy. You can wait if you have time, or you can go!)

American guest: Good heavens. Anybody here can speak English？

Chinese office girl：Shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing？(Be quiet, don't shout. What do you want?)

American guest: I want to speak to your head.

Chinese office girl：Head not zai. You tomorrow come！(Head is not here now, come tomorrow!)

That makes our Chinese laugh out. the girl even use Chinese word order to assemble every sentence.

Hdpg · Jan 31, 2010

The intersting thing is that a person whose mother tongue is English can often figure out the meaning of sentences using English words assembled using Chinese syntax, or German or French or just about any language for that matter. Does it work the other way, is it possible the other way? Can you create an understandable sentence using Chinese 'words' and English syntax?

Rumin · Jan 31, 2010

Hdpg said:
The intersting thing is that a person whose mother tongue is English can often figure out the meaning of sentences using English words assembled using Chinese syntax, or German or French or just about any language for that matter. Does it work the other way, is it possible the other way? Can you create an understandable sentence using Chinese 'words' and English syntax?

Most of time, it's easy for me to understand written Chinese English speakers write, although I think it interesting.

Chinese syntax is totally different with English one, in which, there is no verb tense. We use words or phases to express verb tense.

MetaRinka · Feb 1, 2010

http://www.engrish.com/

that site will keep you busy for hours. Whenever a foreigner with little understanding is tasked with translating, mistakes are made. Often to hilarious results. when I was studying in Japan, it was considered cool to have English phrases on t-shirts. But often these phrases were copy and pasted or made no sense. I bought a few, my favourite having a phrase about, "friday they 13rd" which in all fairness if your start with 3rd and put a 1 in front makes logical sense.

In the run up to the olympics the chinese government made a big push to get a lot of signs up in proper english.
http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/07/10/translateservererror.jpg that's a highlight of the mistakes made.

MarcoBernardini · Feb 1, 2010

Some time ago I had to translate an Italian pasta recipe both in English and French.
That requires some grated cheese on it, so I correctly translate it in French as "fromage rapé", but in English I wrote an astounding "raped cheese"... :eek:

BadBeta · Feb 2, 2010

Personal favorites:

In the hotel room - official welcome note on desk: "Please feel free to take advantage of the chambermaid".

Other hotel room with dripping fountain in the bathroom: "To turn off water please twist cock to the left".

And of course, on the wrapping of a dubious looking massage item: "Horny remover".

Not to mention the menus at restaurants... (I think they sometimes to it on purpose to entertain their guests). Really, one should take notes. Some are very good, and even more describtive than real english.

Classic moments in Chinglish

Diamond

Stainless

Stainless

Diamond

Titanium

Stainless

Diamond

Diamond

Diamond

Plastic

Hot Rolled

Titanium

Cast Iron

Stainless

Cast Iron

Stainless

Cast Iron

Cast Iron

Plastic

Stainless

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