Share your stress management tips & tricks...

As different as we all are, one thing we all share here is the fact that stress sucks. Whether it's from customers, bosses, employees, co-workers, family business, too much work, not enough work, we all wear it. As much as we'd like to say we can leave work at work, "easier said than done" is an understatement to say the least.

I've been off the forum for awhile, due to stress of all things. Won't bore you with details but will say that it's deeply affected my health. I've seen it slowly building up year after year and just tried to soldier on. Well, this last year was different, I decided I'd had enough of going it alone and enlisted some help. My wife and family have really stepped up and helped me try some things, some worked and some didn't. Although I can't say I'm stress free, I'm feeling well enough to say I'm enjoying life. I know many of you are in the same boat. I think it'd be great to get a thread going sharing what's helped others.

In my case:

1) Sleep. Can't really will myself to sleep, but I can shut off the tv, phone, ipade, etc. Melatonin can help sometimes. If sleep is really bad, diagnosed with PTSD in my case, I do go ahead an let a dr. give me an RX. Don't like pills myself, but found a sleep aid that doesn't leave me zombied in the morning or hooked on pills.

2) Veggies. I've got nothing against a good steak, but apparently my system hates me less when I'm eating vegetarian, or mostly vegetarian.

3) Martial Arts. This one has been a bit tough to stay on the wagon with. Rural areas aren't hotbeds of dojo's. I've been in a kung fu group on and off for almost two years now. So far it's all been taiji (yang style). After the first week I knew it was helping. Biggest thing has been re-teaching myself to "breathe". In my case it's helped me slow down a bit, don't speed walk through the shop anymore, more mindful of how calm or stressed I am, better balance, better sleep. Looking forward to testing into the more "external" forms of kung fu soon. This was probably the hardest on my family. They really need me at home. I had to quit once or twice. Finally we settled on going together. It's more money but it's been great to be there together. Especially love to see my 13yr old daughter picking up self defense.

4) Rage it out. Sometimes you just have to sweat it out, shoot it out, blow it up, etc. Winter is a good excuse to split wood. When I'm pissed and prone to stick my foot in my mouth sideways, chopping wood has an almost magical ability to take the a$$hole out of me. Can't wait to get into sparring, daddy needs to express some rage.

5) Get air, real fresh air. It's hard to find time, but I've found if I can get outside for at least an hour, my perspective starts to change. My schedule is extremely tight, finding time is hard, but it's an almost 100% guarantee help. I've never taken a long walk and regretted it.

6) Talk to someone. I was actually directed by a counselor once to schedule time every week to get on this forum and talk shop with people who could relate. My family loves me but doesn't know and end wrench from an endoscope. This forum has been a help.

Stress sucks the life right out of you. If you've found how to manage yours, lets hear it. Thanks.

I take a puff or two of some pot at the end of the day. It helps the stress and helps me sleep.

Good to hear that you are finding ways to dial down the stress. I heartily affirm the points you have made -- all that boring healthy stuff that we know we need to do, but we're in too much of a hurry to bother; turns out it really DOES matter if we eat right, get enough sleep, exercise ...

I'll add another viewpoint that has been helpful to me over the years. This came from some tapes of a seminar my dad attended, probably 40 years ago. The premise is that stress is a necessary and helpful part of working, but too much is (obviously) a bad thing. To reverse stress and give the body a chance to recover, we have to relax. Here's the key point that has helped me: we generally misunderstand what relaxation is. Too often we think relaxation = rest. Nope. Relaxation = opposite of work.

What defines work? 1) goals and timetables; 2) assessment of those goals. So I go fishing to "relax" -- and I keep pushing to find some fish, and I assess how well I did based on how many fish I caught. Guess what? I haven't actually relaxed; I've turned fishing into work! Or in my case, I go into the garage to work on a "fun" project ... and I end the day frustrated that I didn't get as much done as I had wanted to do.

Relaxation requires spending time in non-goal oriented, non-assessed activity -- taking a walk with no particular objective in mind, no timetable for when it has to be done, no assessment of how far we have walked. Fishing just to enjoy the beauty of the surroundings--and if we happen to catch some fish, that's a nice bonus. Puttering around in the garage without worrying about finishing a thing. Playing with the kids just for the sheer fun of seeing the joy on their faces.

I don't always do this very well -- okay, to be honest, I very often am guilty of working at relaxing -- but when I can catch myself and force myself to set aside time for true relaxation, it makes a huge difference. For me, that includes finding a day here and there where there is absolutely nothing on the agenda. I can get up, drink coffee, read the paper, maybe go out to the garage, maybe read a book, maybe do something else ...

I have found the easiest way is multi faceted
1. leave work at work when you can
2. range time with your fave weapon

Disc golf a couple times a week keeps me pretty square.

Oh I procrastinate till my head is about to explode- when the stress is about to take me out I get down to work and get the shit done.

(I don't recommend this to anyone.. )

Probably the type that always looks for the cause of stress I generally look straight into the eyes of someone who is giving me a hard time. Problem, counterpart almost never understands. They just keep going on.

I switch to next level. Confront counterpart with my opinion, well wrapped. Most of the times no reaction

Still higher level, body language. Shake my head. That can be wonderful. I can relax by behaving like a clown. Only rarely do I need to raise my voice.

Okay, some calmness came with age. I am simply too old for children’s games and I let others know that. Works sometimes

And I curse, best first aid!

Trboatworks said:

Oh I procrastinate till my head is about to explode- when the stress is about to take me out I get down to work and get the shit done.

(I don't recommend this to anyone.. )

Click to expand...

I hold a patent on this method- please start sending royalty checks.

"Relaxation = opposite of work"

I don't agree, certain types of work can be relaxing.

Conrad Hoffman said:

I hold a patent on this method- please start sending royalty checks.

Click to expand...

Hmm. I'm claiming prior art.

awake said:

What defines work? 1) goals and timetables; 2) assessment of those goals. So I go fishing to "relax" -- and I keep pushing to find some fish, and I assess how well I did based on how many fish I caught. Guess what? I haven't actually relaxed; I've turned fishing into work! Or in my case, I go into the garage to work on a "fun" project ... and I end the day frustrated that I didn't get as much done as I had wanted to do.

Relaxation requires spending time in non-goal oriented, non-assessed activity -- taking a walk with no particular objective in mind, no timetable for when it has to be done, no assessment of how far we have walked. Fishing just to enjoy the beauty of the surroundings--and if we happen to catch some fish, that's a nice bonus. Puttering around in the garage without worrying about finishing a thing. Playing with the kids just for the sheer fun of seeing the joy on their faces.

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A very good point about how performing non-quantifiable tasks can be relaxing. It may still be work, but can be very relaxing.

Number 1: Shed some of your workload. Do not feel guilty about it.

Shooting can be good, but I was a serious shooter for a while. You perform the way you practice and this can be a way to pick up bad habits.

Deep breathing exercises are helpful and can be performed anywhere.

Blacksmithing is a current stress reliever. Something about a hot coal fire, orange steel, and a big hammer.

And repeat to yourself "The same fire and hammerblows that forge the finest steel crumble lesser materials. All this will refine my grain and make me tougher".

I took a 9 month course in 2014..2015 designed by Princeton Seminary on the purpose of vocation. I realize this isn't everybody's cup of tea and that is fine with me, but after reading upwards of 5000 pages of people's writings on this topic dating back to 4000bc, there truly is nothing new under the sun. If you can wrap your head around working for the mutual benefit of everyone around you (customers, suppliers, employees) and realize that you are not in control of nearly as much as you think you are - life gets a lot less stressful.

You have gifts and talents that can be a benefit for a lot of people around you - use them for their benefit and let the balance sheet take care of itself.

ZzzQuil for sleep. Works for me, when I need it.
Get a dog, if you can.

Chip

Fishing and boating can be a great way to relax...can also be a way to rip your hair out.

Boats break and fishing easily becomes a job once you get good...need to catch more, then bigger....then you move onto the harder to catch species, then the ones further out...need for bigger equipment, bigger, faster boats.

Took awhile to dial it back and start to enjoy again...


Aside from that...walking the dog on the beach can be pretty nice.

Cooking can be relaxing too.

Meditation is magical for stress relief. Not an easy habit to aquire for Type A people, but well worth the time spent. Once you get it, you can carry that relaxed spirit into the stressful work day.

I am in real trouble right now with stress. I have been at it seven days a week for the past seven years but the last two have turned it up a notch. Two years ago I bought my way out of a bad partnership. I changed nothing here, did not bring on any help on the machines because I had to recover financially from a lame duck partner who did nothing his last year with me and of course the money it cost me to show him the door, about $80 grand. The last year was horrible, he knew he was going and was just making it bad enough to get me to pull the trigger. It worked.

Without adding any help I'm billing the same or better since the month he left. I am now in a good place to hire. My problem is I have developed some type of leaned procrastination. I won't start anything that requires me to focus single minded because I know I will be interrupted as soon as I do. One of the guys will need help, one of the machines needs to be changed something is going to interrupt me. Why start a tough program or set up...I need to wait until people go home or I'm at work over the weekend. I hesitate to hire a guy because the time it will take me getting him acclimated and making money for me, I'm stuck.....

I did bring on a guy to manage quick books and keep me strait with banking things, he also buys material and ships... He's another part time guy who's been a god send to me, he really gives a shit.

Ive been going non stop seven days a week ten to twelve hours a day and now can't even enjoy being home. I won't pick up a book because I think as soon as I do someone will talk to me...It's all in my head I have a new Ipad sitting at home for a week I can't make myself open and set up.

I go home and watch the TV, eat dinner and wait to go to bed and start again. bed time is coming earlier and earlier because I don't know what else to do.

Make Chips Boys !

Ron

the biggest thing that seems to work for me is breathing exercises, amazing how spending a few minutes breathing properly and mindfully can calm your nerves, de-stress you and lower your BP.
slowly breathe in deep through your nose, try to expand your diaphragm, hold for a few seconds then slowly exhale through your mouth. repeat while trying to clear your mind of all thoughts, only focusing on your breathing. when a thought comes up just try to re focus on the rhythm of your breathing. if you can clear your mind of everything aside from your breathing your now practicing 'mindful meditation' and it works.

don't believe in it? go to your local drug store and take a BP reading, now do a minute or two of breathing exercises and do another BP reading.

AARONT said:

I take a puff or two of some pot at the end of the day. It helps the stress and helps me sleep.

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First guy beat me to it! And the OP is in a legalized state (Washington).

I'll add a few others:

1. Funny you should say "turn off the TV". I know that's what they say but I find it actually a bit relaxing to turn on something like Ken Burn's Civil War series or a WWII documentary. Takes my mind (that's typically going about 100 MPH) down quite nicely. If you do it over Netflix, it will automatically stop after a few episodes (or use the timer on your TV).

2. I listen to podcasts in the car (or for that matter in the office if it's not too distracting). If you have bluetooth and a smart phone, it's "free". If you listen to music, you'll just end up going over everything in your head. Tune into other issues.

3. Get out of the shop! I mean that as in take a break, short walk, etc.

4. This never worked for me, but a co-worker said he used a particular road sign or marker and on the drive to/from work he would use that as the "okay time to start or stop thinking about work" point.

5. This is one I do myself, but I look at all the lame folks that have too much money and time and have nothing better to do. I remind myself that some amount of stress is necessary to have a meaningful life. Too little problems makes EVERYTHING seem like a big problem. I have an unmarried brother with way too much time and money on his hands yet he's always complaining about having neither. It's sort of an informal "bio-feedback" mechanism I developed myself. Speaking of bio-feedback, check into CBT (cognitive behavior therapy), it's way better than pills! Okay, maybe not better than a particular "natural herb"...

The Dude

Hey Stache. Good to see you back, it's been a while. Good to see that you are getting a handle on the stress. That stuff is ,literally, a killer. Ignoring it only feeds it.
I've always been fortunate that I am able to just shed stress, when I walk out the shop door, it mostly just stays there. on occasion, I'll have a technical problem that lingers around in my brain. Often times, when i wake up, I'll have the answer. But that's not the kind of stress that's been eating you, I'll bet.
Lately, things outside work have been stacking up on me, mostly my folks(91 and 81),MIL(84), FIL(91), college age kids don't always help, but mine are better than most. Hours getting cut didn't help, along with bringing a side job I've run for 11 years, back into the house. That added up to about a 36% reduction in pay for me, overall. But as I said, I am fortunate in that I shed stress pretty well.
#1 on the sleep thing. The docs and the shrinks will all tell you that sleep is one of the BIGGEST stress reducers you can get. When I find that I'm waking up at 2 o'clock every morning, when I have to hit the floor at 4 for the commute, I have to figure out what to do about it. Too much of that, and my blood sugar goes wacko, which adds even more to the mix. The best advice I can give you there is give yourself plenty of time to get TO sleep. If it takes you an hour to nod off, then you have to make sure your hit the hay early enough to take that hour and still get the hours.
Diet? Hmmm. Haven't tried that one, but I have noticed that WHEN I eat is as important as WHAT I eat, especially when I combine this feature with my sleep schedule. To late a dinner, to big, and I've just shot myself in the foot.
Martial arts? Not me, not here.
Outdoors? Oh yes, very much so. This also helps with the sleep and the blood sugar thing. I just finished the deer season here. Not that killing something is all that much of a stress reliever. Although it can be. But probably 75% of the time spent hunting is nothing more than setting or walking outdoors. If you watch nature, and pay attention to how things work and why, it's funny how you can forget a bunch of the stuff that eats on you. At least for a while. And sometimes a while is all you need.
Talking to somebody that understands and give a rat's rear end about it can be a lot of help. I can see that. The forum here IS loaded with folks who have likely been there, done that. And they don't seem to be very hesitant to offer solutions, leaving implementation of them up to you. And most have seen the stress that your likely experiencing. Most have found a way to deal with it. That in itself can be a great therapy, in knowing that you are NOT the only one.
I tend NOT to rage things out very much. It's just not my way. But to each his own, I've known many who benefit from a good workout, or sparring session.
Sometimes I find it helpful to just get philosophical about it. There is nothing new under the sun. There is scripture that says exactly that, if you're inclined to look for it. Everything has been perpetrated on someone before, in different forms maybe, and they dealt with it. So it can be done. Some Eastern philosophies just encourage you to let things "flow over you" like you're a stone in a river. That's probably a close description of how I deal with stress. Of course, it requires you to be a big stone to not get washed away by it all. But I know stones that have been in rivers for thousands of years, likely never moved in all that time.

So, you're saying working 16hr days on a diet of sunflower seeds and Redbull is bad for me???