Suggestions on how to deal with a real bich.

I will try keep this as simple and quick as I can. I preface my question with this because the problem been getting worse over the past 6 months and is complex.

We have built a mechanism for the Co. she works for 8 years plus with an excellent relationship.
6 months ago the woman who over saw all the orders, proper parts delivered depending on what model we were machining/building.

Problem is her replacement knows very very little about the product line, nothing about machining involving casting and is very abrasive (& I get along with everyone.)

When pleasantly asked about missing parts and other general questions she becomes defensive blames all mistakes on us.
We brought her down to try and impress how the process runs. i.e I takes an hour or more do just the set up.

When things stated getting intolerable we now CC all e-mails to Corporate.

The accounts brings a good $ so it is well worth trying to work this out.

Any ideas? It is beginning to disturb my calm.

I've been mistreated by a crucial long-time customer going on ten years now. I'm just bending over and taking it but the breaking point is near. Hopefully corporate will figure your bitch out and replace her but if you're beholden to their dollar you're probably stuck sucking your pride and waiting it out.

Frankly, the problem isn't all that clear from what you've written. Maybe because you're upset? So, I'm guessing that written communication and all those cc'd email to corporate aren't going to be the way to go -- and maybe a part of the problem?

If the former manager is still around, might try to get her involved in a face to face meeting. Do a reset. When written communications aren't clear, we all tend to jump to conclusions based on our perception of the author. Former manager seemed to like you and the service and support of your company. Current one, apparently not?

You might also hope this post doesn't get back to the woman now in charge of your business. Personally, only time I'd call a client a bitch is after I decided I didn't want the business. Likely not even then, since someone who deserves the title is likely to bad mouth you long after. In any case, she probably already has an idea of how you feel.

FWIW, new people in a position, over their heads, are pretty likely to get defensive. Could be your new contact person would turn out OK with a bit of support. Could also be that you really need to be firm -- but with greater clarity of communication.

doug8cat said:

I will try keep this as simple and quick as I can. I preface my question with this because the problem been getting worse over the past 6 months and is complex.

We have built a mechanism for the Co. she works for 8 years plus with an excellent relationship.
6 months ago the woman who over saw all the orders, proper parts delivered depending on what model we were machining/building.

Problem is her replacement knows very very little about the product line, nothing about machining involving casting and is very abrasive (& I get along with everyone.)

When pleasantly asked about missing parts and other general questions she becomes defensive blames all mistakes on us.
We brought her down to try and impress how the process runs. i.e I takes an hour or more do just the set up.

When things stated getting intolerable we now CC all e-mails to Corporate.

The accounts brings a good $ so it is well worth trying to work this out.

Any ideas? It is beginning to disturb my calm.

Click to expand...

These kinds of situations can get very complicated. Do you know if or what relationships she has with her employer?

Many times these personalities have the position due to some unknown and sometimes for poor reasons.

You need to figure out how to deal with her as it is probably very likely that is easier to locate another vendor versus having to get rid of her.

Yes, I know it is not the answer that you are looking for but I am just trying to reflect the reality of the situation. CEO types do not like to hear of problems that need dealing with, they only expect results.

Went through this myself for over a year ....
Just sucked it up because the customer had great work and paid on time. I'd get off the phone and be ready to throw it against the wall. Luckily now we have a new contact.

I used email as a buffer which worked well. Suck it up as money spends the same if she is mean or nice

When all else fails, I have been known to go the direct route and call people out on their bs. Then explain how both sides need to give or both sides will fail. Some people don't realize they're being a twat waffle and will snap out of it. Other people won't send you business anymore. If it's the latter, just make sure you're ok with not having their business first.

Maybe a meeting with her boss? Or do it my style and tell her exactly where the bear shits.

Here you go. It worked for me.

https://www.amazon.com/Live-Bitch-G...sr=8-1&keywords=Book+How+to+live+with+a+bitch

This is not the answer to your question on how to make it better... But this is how I coped with a similar issue.
After each episode I wanted to be my last I would calculate the amount of time til I retired. Figuring the number of days, minutes and sometimes even the number of seconds would take my mind off the person I wish would die and allow me to just work....

The sad part of this was the people I worked with could see my anger. They could judge the anger by asking how much time I had left.... if it was days that wasnt so bad... if the answer was in seconds everyone gave me room. Without a calculator figuring 17 years of work left to the second took enough energy to make everything else seem petty.

After I kept the number seconds total running for a couple months straight it was time for me to move on...

NO I didnt find a better job....After seeing the new job was no better I renegotiated my wages and time off... And counted time until I retired. That is how I survived....

Unlike the smart people, I dont have good memories of work... In fact as I drive around town and see stuff I worked on.... I can usually recall bad and little of the good that happened.


My advice to you is to work something out. Spend time with the smarter than me crowd and fix this....
Then please let me know how you did it just to prove it can be done....

Is this person your only contact? Are there others you could develop and not have to deal with this person as much or not at all?

Probably not a good plan to use said terminology no matter how fitting it is... and not on a public forum. Its 2019, a whole lot less can get you in plenty of trouble.

I would stay the course with the CC and let it sort itself out, likely just go out of my way to be above and beyond in the communication department.

doug8cat said:

I will try keep this as simple and quick as I can. I preface my question with this because the problem been getting worse over the past 6 months and is complex.

We have built a mechanism for the Co. she works for 8 years plus with an excellent relationship.
6 months ago the woman who over saw all the orders, proper parts delivered depending on what model we were machining/building.

Problem is her replacement knows very very little about the product line, nothing about machining involving casting and is very abrasive (& I get along with everyone.)

When pleasantly asked about missing parts and other general questions she becomes defensive blames all mistakes on us.
We brought her down to try and impress how the process runs. i.e I takes an hour or more do just the set up.

When things stated getting intolerable we now CC all e-mails to Corporate.

The accounts brings a good $ so it is well worth trying to work this out.

Any ideas? It is beginning to disturb my calm.

Click to expand...

I got a few things from your post.

1. ".... blames all mistakes on us". So there are mistakes made. Whose fault are they?

2. Who did hire her? What are her qualifications?

3. Going around her (CC to corporate) won't make things easier for anybody. Who will "corporate" back if forced to do so?

As a "bitch" then she's female. If it had been a man then what? Being a PITA often has nothing to do with male or female. If you are married ask your wife for advice

Bitch definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary

Gordon B. Clarke said:

I got a few things from your post.

1. ".... blames all mistakes on us". So there are mistakes made. Whose fault are they?

2. Who did hire her? What are her qualifications?

3. Going around her (CC to corporate) won't make things easier for anybody. Who will "corporate" back if forced to do so?

As a "bitch" then she's female. If it had been a man then what? Being a PITA often has nothing to do with male or female. If you are married ask your wife for advice

Bitch definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary

Click to expand...

There are plenty of male bitches out there...

I did a lot, lot, everything work for an industrial customer. I did everything from welding and fabrication to carpet to supervising their guys for big projects. After 2 years, things became bad. I was getting screamed at for nothing. Like, I was told to quote carpet for these new offices, i said ok, I'll add in the carpet cove (6" carpet that becomes the bottom trim) the guy was like NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! There is no carpet cove in the section. I said yeah there was, I did over 15,000 sq feet of carpet in this building in every suite. Only 1 area doesn't have it. I SAID NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO carpet cove. Ok, I quote it no carpet cove, but add it to the quote anyways and have it made. Install carpet only. 2 days later.... WHERE THE HELL IS THE CARPET COVE THAT I TOLD YOU WE NEEDED. No you said this suite doesn't get carpet cove. YES I DID!!!!!!!!!! WE ALWAYS DO CARPET COVE IN THE SUITE. Ok, look at the quote you asked me to do, it says no cove. WHAT THE FUCK.... I TOLD YOU TO DO IT..... I Will quote you up the carpet cove, but it may not match now and it will cost more... Ok!!!!!Fine just do it!!!!!! 1 week later, I install the cove I already had made at the shop and charge 4x the price. 1x on original quote, 3x on extra work.

So imagine the crap I had to deal with when welding or fabricating, or doing maintenance that their guys were supposed to do, but they paid their bills at like 25 days.

After another year, I had enough, and when the other contractors came to me and asked me for advice on how to deal with this dude, I knew something was up. All the contractors got the boot (I was last of course) and now a year and a half later they call me back. And for some reason, they will not allow that dude to deal with me. He was the only one who for some reason hated everything I did. His boss, the whole staff, everyone else liked me a lot since i would just work.

I finally had enough one Thursday night when I was picking up my kids from daycare, and sure enough I get a call just as I pulled in. 17 minutes of getting my ass chewed out for nothing. To the extent of if you dont get this job done that we screwed you over on, you will never work here again.

Well, after that I decided to start adding a DH charge to every quote/bill. DH being dick head. From then on, I figured out every quote then added the DH% on top. This Thursday reaming added 10%. By the time I left, I was adding an additional 31% to every bill. But at the end of it all, I lost since I had to deal with it for so long.

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Ziggy2 said:

These kinds of situations can get very complicated. Do you know if or what relationships she has with her employer?

Many times these personalities have the position due to some unknown and sometimes for poor reasons.

You need to figure out how to deal with her as it is probably very likely that is easier to locate another vendor versus having to get rid of her.

Yes, I know it is not the answer that you are looking for but I am just trying to reflect the reality of the situation. CEO types do not like to hear of problems that need dealing with, they only expect results.

Click to expand...

I am thinking along the same lines. I smell nepotism. If she is that glaringly inept and foul I am pretty sure her immediate superior is well aware.

Dualkit said:

I am thinking along the same lines. I smell nepotism. If she is that glaringly inept and foul I am pretty sure her immediate superior is well aware.

Click to expand...

Sounds like she's ripe for a promotion

You are not going to change her personality or groom her, not that your are trying. Adjusting to her personality would be just as bad.

Be very particular on all jobs done, log everything and ensure you get someone at that business to initial all items. If it is the person you are having issues with, explain you are documenting for their business to ensure they receive quality service. If they are at a significant distance, take photos and establish a log, email for record.

Charge an additional percentage for the additional time and work.

Remain professional.

Just keep your cool, and when she says stupid things just respond nicely with facts.

Her: We still haven't received the items.
You: Items were delivered on your dock on XX/XX/XXXX at 10:15 am, and signed for my Joe Smith. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do.


With her boss and others being, cc'ed on all emails, they will clearly be able to see where the problem is.

Wouldn't hurt to set up a meeting and make sure her boss or highers ups are there, and the previous person you dealt with. Just say, things were going great and all of a sudden it seems we don't have as good of a relationship, have we done something? Just want to make sure we are keeping you happy. DO NOT say its since she took over, that is just dirty business, her peers will know exactly what changed.

You guys are way more patient than me.

For me it's this:

Step 1 - phone call to her boss "straighten this person out of give us someone else to deal with"

Step 2 - if the problem remains, close out remaining orders and find work elsewhere.


Back when I had a real job, we tried to get some work for Allison Transmissions. Their quality guy came over from Indy during the prototype phase and dressed us down for following our own in house procedures which did not exactly match theirs. The parts were perfect.

Boss told the guy to get in his car as fast as he could and start driving. The tooling would be on the dock whenever he wanted to come get it.

We quickly got a call from this guy's boss stating he had been reassigned to other suppliers and we were given a new contact. We never heard from him again.

Another reason to love working for small companies when doing machine shop work. You are usually dealing with the owner, not some purchasing agent with an inflated sense of self worth on a power trip.