Very interesting thread.
Though probably unrelated for several reasons, we make electrical connectors out of Tellurium copper with a 3/4" blind hole for the plugs to push into, blanks are bored conventionally followed by roller burnishing.
The tolerance for the hole is well under .0001 inch using an air gage. Nothing in it is comparable to the OP's need, but we do them for $1.50 per hole (Thousands of holes per year recurrently), but only because our customer gives us a good deal of business.
We bore using conventional boring inserts in the copper, high positive aluminum inserts, the end size of the hole will depend on the burnish rollers though the sizes of the bores must be very close to the same. The wall size of the copper is about .130" so it's pretty forgiving.
The pin it's sized for never turns, there is no lubricant except silver plate, but the point is that the process may work well for volume, though I would expect any microscopic holes would be closed by it, helical grooves prior to burnishing should take care of that. In our process the holes are roller burnished twice, once before and once after silver plating. Believe it or not the dimensions and tolerances are related solely to the feeling of the pin as it is pushed by hand into the finished board by the end user.
Lapping has produced very good results for me on other projects. As for embedding grit my understanding is that the lap material must be softer than what is being lapped or embedding will occur in whichever side is softer.
For lapping gun parts the compound is supposedly garnet and it's said to break down very fast until the particles are too small to further change dimensions.
I don't know about that, some advertisers say whatever will sell, so for me the lap must be softer than the material being lapped.
That bit about making a driver .0003" oversized for sintered bushings is a tip I hope to remember, though I'd be surprised if variables wouldn't change the pilots size for larger or smaller bores. I wonder if that will work with solid bronze bushings?